Good Leader: 17 Leadership Lessons from 40 Years of Experience

I have many leadership lessons learned in my years in the military (6 years) and business (35 years). Being a good leader is a lifelong learning process. You are never done learning. Every good leader always looks for ways to improve the ability to improve their leadership qualities and attributes. Lessons learned are a great source of learning.

Before I tell you what I have learned about leadership, let me first tell you a story. It is a story about a scorpion and a frog.

Once upon a time a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn’t see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

“Hellooo Mr. Frog!” called the scorpion across the water, “Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?”

“Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won’t try to kill me?” asked the frog hesitantly.

“Because,” the scorpion replied, “If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!”

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. “What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!”

“This is true,” agreed the scorpion, “But then I wouldn’t be able to get to the other side of the river!”

“Alright then…how do I know you won’t just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?” said the frog.

“Ahh…,” crooned the scorpion, “Because you see, once you’ve taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!”

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog’s back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog’s soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting on his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog’s back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

“You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog’s back. “I could not help myself. It is my nature.”

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river…

Well, I guess scorpions are going to be scorpions.

And people are always going to act according to human nature.

We can try to fight it and resist it, but at the end of the day, people are going to be people.

And if you understand human nature, it’s going to be a lot easier for you to make it in this business.

So all leaders must understand the story of the frog and the scorpion.

If you read ten books on leadership, you could easily build a checklist of 50 or more leadership qualities and attributes. The following leadership lessons represent my favorites from my years. It represents those leadership lessons that I would most like to remember:

Good leader … put your people first

This is an important principle that is ingrained into most military officers but is sadly often lacking in civilian managers. Mentorship is important but moreover, doing whatever you can to advance the careers of your subordinates should be one of your prime duties.

Leadership qualities list … not about you

Many of us want to be effective leaders … ones that can make a difference. But that doesn’t happen by talking about it or self-marketing. It takes the time to build connections, by take a genuine interest in people. In true leadership situations, listening comes first.

Perhaps the worst personal trait I’ve personally observed is ego. We all have an ego, but the ego I’m talking about is the ‘super-ego’ that dominates. I’ve found if a leader is really good at what they do, they won’t have to tell others about it.

Humility

Leaders teach us “Don’t think too highly of yourself.” How can you improve? We are not perfect. Your success is because of many team members’ contributions. Up your leadership game with humility.

Leadership lesson plans … passion

You only live once. Give it all you got. Be the best so no competitor can keep up. Know your passion and live it. Let it drive you to be the best in your niche.

Stress team and teamwork

Do what it takes to make your team more effective and productive. Make each team member focus on putting the team before themselves. Remember, whatever your role is, be a servant to the team and make your teammates better.

Have a grand vision

As a leader, you can inspire and motivate your team to tremendous effect by communicating a vision in a clear, straight-forward way. But don’t think small – raise the bar high. Shoot for a visionary type goal. That’s different than a vision to increase the company’s market share by 10% within five years.

Speak appreciation

Gratitude must be a constant drum beat of your dialogue. Infuse your conversations with an appreciation of your team’s acumen and determination to improve. Learn to be thankful certainly when there’s great success, but also be thankful for what you’ve learned through the hard times because there’s great wisdom in those experiences.

Push and motivate people

A good leader makes sure their team members never stop looking bad until eventually, they look good because they have improved. Push them to be the best they can be. Be the best motivator you can be.

Provide structure but encourage improvisation

Provide structure to the team but always encourage everyone to improvise. Inspire them to do what they could not do alone. Show them by example and let other teammates help them do it; that builds a bond that lasts forever.

Build relationships and culture

Constantly build relationships with and between the team. It is the foundation of the culture you want to develop. Remember this: Five percent of what we do is to be sure we perform. The other ninety-five percent is to create a culture that leads to the team culture.

Continuous improvement and learning

If you’re not doing, you’re not learning. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do with them that count.

Give people opportunity to input

It has to be the team’s game plan, not just the leader’s plan. Ensure you are giving everyone an opportunity for inputs and listen carefully. Do what you can to build a team plan.

Adapt your leadership to team

Not all teams are the same, and each requires and responds best to its leadership qualities. Focus on becoming a good reader of the team and adapt your leadership style to what is needed.

Don’t let failure be fatal

Keep going. Don’t let setbacks stop you. Carry your lessons forward, and change your approach as required. Don’t fear change … it is a fact of life. Failure is not fatal, but often a failure to change can be.

Lead by example

What you do is so much more important than what you say. As a leader, you should be the hardest worker, the most well-prepared, and the one willing to do all the things no one else wants to do.

Develop other leaders

Leaders are measured not just on what they achieve personally but also on what the people they mentored go on to do as leaders in their right. Take pride in people you have developed.

Agree to disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

It is all about maintaining a positive attitude all the time, even when times are tough. People can agree to disagree, but need to avoid being disagreeable at all costs.

Often leaders who do their job too well end up surrounded by a bunch of “yes-men/women”. This can have disastrous consequences.

The bottom line

Remember this simple fact. Does leadership focus on people the best definition of a leader? Someone who helps people succeed. Let your leadership success be your difference maker.

Need some help in capturing more improvements for your staff’s leadership, teamwork, and collaboration? Creative ideas in running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?

Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.

Call Mike at 607-725-8240.

All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.

When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.

Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Are you devoting enough energy innovating your social media strategy?

Do you have a lesson about making your advertising better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?

Mike Schoultz is the founder of Digital Spark Marketing, a digital marketing and customer service agency. With 40 years of business experience, he blogs on topics that relate to improving the performance of your business. Find them on G+, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed how reasonable we will be.

More leadership material from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:

Leadership Characteristics that Improve Influence

10 Leadership Competencies You Should Not Live Without

Building Collaboration and Sharing Skills in your Staff

How to Create the Best Leadership Accountability

The Zen of Abraham Lincolns Leadership Lessons

Like this short blog? Follow Digital Spark Marketing on LinkedIn or add us to your circles for 3-4 short, interesting blogs, stories per week.

8 Ways to Keep Your Employees Engaged

Employees are the primary customer contact for every business. So if they are not engaged or have a neutral or negative attitude, what does that say for your company? In today’s competitive environment, you cannot afford the neutral or negative customer experiences that will usually result. So what can you do to keep employees engaged and motivated to create a positive customer experience?

Here are the recommendations we use most frequently with our clients:

Be clear on your values and expectations

…fundamental to ensuring a consistent message is communicated. Without clarity from the top, teams are unclear of expectations and rarely achieve them.

Be consistent with your priorities

… align them with activities that customers value. Communicate the reasons for your priorities to all your team.

Lead by example

… walk the talk and consistently reinforce the desired behaviors. Without a demonstration from the top, how do you expect your people to believe in you?

Provide enough information

… in a centralized location on existing clients, products, and services. This will give your team the confidence to answer questions without having to rely on others for information.

Provide coaching

… on all important skills that your employees need. Let them know you want them to have all the necessary tools to do their jobs well.

Don’t provide

… too much direction. Don’t limit their initiative and developing skills. You want to provide some freedoms and decision making authority to try new things in making a positive customer impact. Encourage everyone to share their ideas, results, and successes.

Keep up the motivation

… regularly and consistently. Celebrate even the small successes in customer service. Look for different ways to recognize and reward positive learning, performance, and initiative.

Ensure each employee

… knows their individual roles and responsibilities in contributing to customer engagement and service. Establish backups for each team member with good cross-training of each employee role. Job rotation also goes a long way in the employee development process.

The bottom line

Never be done with your coaching, life is a continuous learning experience. Engaged employees take work and a consistent development process, but you will be pleasantly surprised by the impact they will make on your customers’ experience and service.

How engaged are your employees? When was the last time you employed these recommendations?

Do you have an employee development experience to share?

Do you follow college basketball? If you do, you will recognize the name of John Wooden, probably the most successful college coach of all time. For us, this achievement and learning are all about the John Wooden leadership qualities.

Coach John Wooden is best known for his 27-year legacy at UCLA, where he led the Bruins to 10 NCAA national championships . This is a record that will most likely never be repeated.

We like to read about and study people who generate this type of success. There is so much that we can learn from them.

Nothing really prepares you to be a leader. In most cases, you get the opportunity to lead by being good at something else. However, while being a strong performer gives you the credibility to lead, it says nothing about your ability to lead. Leadership is a skill in its own right and, for the most part, it’s one you learn on the job.

Check out our thoughts on team leverage

For Wooden, the ideal leader is someone whose life and character motivate people to follow. The best kind of leadership derives its capacity from the force of example, not from the power of position or personality. Much of what passes as leadership today is nothing more than threats and rewards.

That’s not effective leadership for the long-term. Authentic leadership seeks to motivate people from the inside, by an appeal to the head and the heart, not by use of command and coercion. Wooden influenced players through the character he displayed in everything he did, from the way he recruited student-athletes to the way he taught them to put their socks on.

Here are the 15 most essential leadership qualities we derive from John Wooden that we recommend for the development of people we influence:

Agree to disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

It is all about maintaining a positive attitude all the time. According to Wooden, “We can agree to disagree, but we don’t need to be disagreeable.”

Focus on character over reputation

Your reputation will vary. It’s your character that counts, and it’s what you can control. Wooden said, “If you make an effort to do the best of which you’re capable, trying to improve the situation that exists for you, I think that’s success, and I don’t think others can judge that, and I think that’s like character and reputation. Your reputation is what you are perceived to be, and your character is what you are, and I believe the character is much more important than what you are perceived to be.”

The score is a by-product

The score is hopefully a by-product of doing the right things. Don’t focus on the score, focus on what you’re doing and give your best.

Wooden said, “I wanted the score of a game to be a by-product of these other things, and not the end itself.”

John Wooden leadership book … the meaning of the best

The sense of being the best player is the one who gets closest to reaching their full potential. According to Wooden, whoever gets the closest to reaching their full potential is the best.

Check these out: Best Leadership: 13 Hacks that Contribute Simple Things

John Wooden leadership qualities: don’t let your limits limit you

Don’t let limits get in the way. Wooden — “Don’t let what you cannot do, interfere with what you can do.”

A doer makes mistakes

If you’re not doing, you’re not learning. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do with them that counts.

Everybody is unique

Wooden learned early on the importance of paying attention to each. His teaching was built on this fact. He learned that he had to work with each a little differently and that no two are identical.

He knew that he must vary his approach to helping them unleash their best.

Continuous learning

Coach Wooden practiced life-long learning – as you would expect from a great teacher. This has continued to grow in importance in today’s environment.

John Wooden leadership qualities … balance is everything

He said this often – balance in life and balance on the court. He put balance only second to LOVE. Balance is everything. “Be quick, but don’t hurry.” This, in essence, is a balance; controlled action in all areas of life.

Little things make big things happen

Coach Wooden was a proponent of the principle that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. His practices were ferociously intense. There wasn’t any slack in practice where you could hang out and chat.

He found time in the beginning when players were coming onto the court to take a moment, to pull someone aside as he was ambling over to the practice and ask about how things were going.

Patience is a part of progress

Success comes slowly. Expect change to happen slowly and to have patience along the way. Wooden said, “Whatever you’re doing, you must have patience” and “there is no progress without change, so you must have patience.”

Lead by example

Wooden said that way back, during his early years of teaching, an accurate saying made a great impression on him – “No written word, no spoken plea, can teach our youth what they should be, nor all the books on all the shelves, it’s what the teachers are themselves.”

Failure is not fatal

Keep going. Don’t let setbacks stop you. Carry your lessons forward, and change your approach. Wooden said, “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” Don’t fear change … it is a fact of life.

It’s the journey

It’s the getting there that’s fun. Wooden said, “Cervantes said, ‘The journey is better than the end.’ And I like that. I think that is — it’s getting there.

Sometimes when you get there, there’s almost a letdown, but it’s the getting there that’s fun.” Wooden would say, ““I liked our practices to be the journey, and the game would be the end … the result.”

Here is an interesting story of John Wooden that says miles about John Wooden the man:

At age 96, Wooden was back at the site of his first NCAA championship in 1964, prompting him to recall a message he had received “from above” right after the beginning of his 10-championship run at UCLA.

“We won on a Saturday night,” Wooden said. “The next day was Easter Sunday, and I planned on going out to a church … where the Rev. Bob Maneely was the minister. I had got acquainted with him. I used to attend a Fellowship of Christian Athletes conference in Estes Park, Colo.; he was there as a speaker. I planned on going out Easter Sunday, my wife and I. Sunday morning, we were outside the Muehlebach Hotel, waiting to get a cab to take us to the church. And a pigeon hit me right on top of the head. And I felt, ‘Well, we just won the national championship, the team did, don’t let it go to your head.’ And I think the Good Lord was letting me know, ‘Don’t get carried away.’ I’ll always remember that.”

The thought from Wooden that sticks with me more than any other?

It is that something I always need to pay attention to …

before you can be a successful mentor or coach, you must create a positive learning environment. So how did Coach Wooden go about creating this positive learning environment? He implemented one simple strategy. He used 4-5 positive praises for every one criticism. Wow! This sounds so simple, and yet as I tried to implement it in my leadership, I found out just how difficult it is.

So what is it from John Wooden’s legacy that you remember the most? Any comments or questions to add below?

The bottom line

We all have our talents, but the innate ability will only take you so far. In the final analysis, what makes transformational leadership different is its ability to transform it to suit the needs of its mission.

So what’s the conclusion? The conclusion is there is no conclusion. There is only the next step. And that next step is entirely up to you.

It’s up to you to keep improving your ability to lead. Lessons are all around you. In many situations, history may be providing the ideas and or inspiration. But the key is in knowing that it is within you already.

It’s up to you to keep improving your leadership learning and experience from all around in your environment.

All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that struggle gets better every day you learn and apply new lessons.

When things go wrong, what’s most important is your next step.

Try. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?

Do you have a lesson about making your learning better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?

Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed how reasonable we will be.

More leadership material from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:

Leadership Characteristics that Improve Influence

Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.

Good leader … put your people first

Leadership qualities list … not about you

Humility

Leadership lesson plans … passion

Stress team and teamwork

Have a grand vision

Speak appreciation

Push and motivate people

Provide structure but encourage improvisation

Build relationships and culture

Continuous improvement and learning

Give people opportunity to input

Adapt your leadership to team

Don’t let failure be fatal

Lead by example

Develop other leaders

Agree to disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

The bottom line

Here are the recommendations we use most frequently with our clients:

Be clear on your values and expectations

…fundamental to ensuring a consistent message is communicated. Without clarity from the top, teams are unclear of expectations and rarely achieve them.

Be consistent with your priorities

… align them with activities that customers value. Communicate the reasons for your priorities to all your team.

Lead by example

… walk the talk and consistently reinforce the desired behaviors. Without a demonstration from the top, how do you expect your people to believe in you?

Provide enough information

… in a centralized location on existing clients, products, and services. This will give your team the confidence to answer questions without having to rely on others for information.

Provide coaching

… on all important skills that your employees need. Let them know you want them to have all the necessary tools to do their jobs well.

Don’t provide

… too much direction. Don’t limit their initiative and developing skills. You want to provide some freedoms and decision making authority to try new things in making a positive customer impact. Encourage everyone to share their ideas, results, and successes.

Keep up the motivation

… regularly and consistently. Celebrate even the small successes in customer service. Look for different ways to recognize and reward positive learning, performance, and initiative.

Ensure each employee

… knows their individual roles and responsibilities in contributing to customer engagement and service. Establish backups for each team member with good cross-training of each employee role. Job rotation also goes a long way in the employee development process.

The bottom line

Never be done with your coaching, life is a continuous learning experience. Engaged employees take work and a consistent development process, but you will be pleasantly surprised by the impact they will make on your customers’ experience and service.

How engaged are your employees? When was the last time you employed these recommendations?

Do you have an employee development experience to share?

Read more:

7 Ways to Create a Customer Service Evangelist Business

The Business Intelligence Process Part 3 Competitive Analysis

10 Entrepreneur Lessons You Need to Know

Do you follow college basketball? If you do, you will recognize the name of John Wooden, probably the most successful college coach of all time. For us, this achievement and learning are all about the John Wooden leadership qualities.

Coach John Wooden is best known for his 27-year legacy at UCLA, where he led the Bruins to 10 NCAA national championships . This is a record that will most likely never be repeated.

We like to read about and study people who generate this type of success. There is so much that we can learn from them.

Check out our thoughts on team leverage

For Wooden, the ideal leader is someone whose life and character motivate people to follow. The best kind of leadership derives its capacity from the force of example, not from the power of position or personality. Much of what passes as leadership today is nothing more than threats and rewards.

Here are the 15 most essential leadership qualities we derive from John Wooden that we recommend for the development of people we influence:

Agree to disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

It is all about maintaining a positive attitude all the time. According to Wooden, “We can agree to disagree, but we don’t need to be disagreeable.”

Focus on character over reputation

The score is a by-product

The score is hopefully a by-product of doing the right things. Don’t focus on the score, focus on what you’re doing and give your best.

Wooden said, “I wanted the score of a game to be a by-product of these other things, and not the end itself.”

John Wooden leadership book … the meaning of the best

The sense of being the best player is the one who gets closest to reaching their full potential. According to Wooden, whoever gets the closest to reaching their full potential is the best.

Check these out: Best Leadership: 13 Hacks that Contribute Simple Things

John Wooden leadership qualities: don’t let your limits limit you

Don’t let limits get in the way. Wooden — “Don’t let what you cannot do, interfere with what you can do.”

A doer makes mistakes

If you’re not doing, you’re not learning. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do with them that counts.

Everybody is unique

Wooden learned early on the importance of paying attention to each. His teaching was built on this fact. He learned that he had to work with each a little differently and that no two are identical.

He knew that he must vary his approach to helping them unleash their best.

Continuous learning

Coach Wooden practiced life-long learning – as you would expect from a great teacher. This has continued to grow in importance in today’s environment.

John Wooden leadership qualities … balance is everything

He said this often – balance in life and balance on the court. He put balance only second to LOVE. Balance is everything. “Be quick, but don’t hurry.” This, in essence, is a balance; controlled action in all areas of life.

Little things make big things happen

Coach Wooden was a proponent of the principle that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. His practices were ferociously intense. There wasn’t any slack in practice where you could hang out and chat.

He found time in the beginning when players were coming onto the court to take a moment, to pull someone aside as he was ambling over to the practice and ask about how things were going.

Patience is a part of progress

Success comes slowly. Expect change to happen slowly and to have patience along the way. Wooden said, “Whatever you’re doing, you must have patience” and “there is no progress without change, so you must have patience.”

Lead by example

Wooden said that way back, during his early years of teaching, an accurate saying made a great impression on him – “No written word, no spoken plea, can teach our youth what they should be, nor all the books on all the shelves, it’s what the teachers are themselves.”

Failure is not fatal

Keep going. Don’t let setbacks stop you. Carry your lessons forward, and change your approach. Wooden said, “Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” Don’t fear change … it is a fact of life.

It’s the journey

It’s the getting there that’s fun. Wooden said, “Cervantes said, ‘The journey is better than the end.’ And I like that. I think that is — it’s getting there.