Good Leader: 17 Leadership Lessons from 40 Years of Experience

I have many leadership lessons learned in my years in the military (6 years) and business (35 years). Being a good leader is a lifelong learning process. You are never done learning. Every good leader always looks for ways to improve the ability to improve their leadership qualities and attributes. Lessons learned are a great source of learning.

Before I tell you what I have learned about leadership, let me first tell you a story. It is a story about a scorpion and a frog.

Once upon a time a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.

The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn’t see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

“Hellooo Mr. Frog!” called the scorpion across the water, “Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?”

“Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you won’t try to kill me?” asked the frog hesitantly.

“Because,” the scorpion replied, “If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!”

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. “What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!”

“This is true,” agreed the scorpion, “But then I wouldn’t be able to get to the other side of the river!”

“Alright then…how do I know you won’t just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?” said the frog.

“Ahh…,” crooned the scorpion, “Because you see, once you’ve taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!”

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog’s back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog’s soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting on his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog’s back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

“You fool!” croaked the frog, “Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?”

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog’s back. “I could not help myself. It is my nature.”

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river…

Well, I guess scorpions are going to be scorpions.

And people are always going to act according to human nature.

We can try to fight it and resist it, but at the end of the day, people are going to be people.

And if you understand human nature, it’s going to be a lot easier for you to make it in this business.

So all leaders must understand the story of the frog and the scorpion.

If you read ten books on leadership, you could easily build a checklist of 50 or more leadership qualities and attributes. The following leadership lessons represent my favorites from my years. It represents those leadership lessons that I would most like to remember:

Good leader … put your people first

This is an important principle that is ingrained into most military officers but is sadly often lacking in civilian managers. Mentorship is important but moreover, doing whatever you can to advance the careers of your subordinates should be one of your prime duties.

Leadership qualities list … not about you

Many of us want to be effective leaders … ones that can make a difference. But that doesn’t happen by talking about it or self-marketing. It takes the time to build connections, by take a genuine interest in people. In true leadership situations, listening comes first.

Perhaps the worst personal trait I’ve personally observed is ego. We all have an ego, but the ego I’m talking about is the ‘super-ego’ that dominates. I’ve found if a leader is really good at what they do, they won’t have to tell others about it.

Humility

Leaders teach us “Don’t think too highly of yourself.” How can you improve? We are not perfect. Your success is because of many team members’ contributions. Up your leadership game with humility.

Leadership lesson plans … passion

You only live once. Give it all you got. Be the best so no competitor can keep up. Know your passion and live it. Let it drive you to be the best in your niche.

Stress team and teamwork

Do what it takes to make your team more effective and productive. Make each team member focus on putting the team before themselves. Remember, whatever your role is, be a servant to the team and make your teammates better.

Have a grand vision

As a leader, you can inspire and motivate your team to tremendous effect by communicating a vision in a clear, straight-forward way. But don’t think small – raise the bar high. Shoot for a visionary type goal. That’s different than a vision to increase the company’s market share by 10% within five years.

Speak appreciation

Gratitude must be a constant drum beat of your dialogue. Infuse your conversations with an appreciation of your team’s acumen and determination to improve. Learn to be thankful certainly when there’s great success, but also be thankful for what you’ve learned through the hard times because there’s great wisdom in those experiences.

Push and motivate people

A good leader makes sure their team members never stop looking bad until eventually, they look good because they have improved. Push them to be the best they can be. Be the best motivator you can be.

Provide structure but encourage improvisation

Provide structure to the team but always encourage everyone to improvise. Inspire them to do what they could not do alone. Show them by example and let other teammates help them do it; that builds a bond that lasts forever.

Build relationships and culture

Constantly build relationships with and between the team. It is the foundation of the culture you want to develop. Remember this: Five percent of what we do is to be sure we perform. The other ninety-five percent is to create a culture that leads to the team culture.

Continuous improvement and learning

If you’re not doing, you’re not learning. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do with them that count.

Give people opportunity to input

It has to be the team’s game plan, not just the leader’s plan. Ensure you are giving everyone an opportunity for inputs and listen carefully. Do what you can to build a team plan.

Adapt your leadership to team

Not all teams are the same, and each requires and responds best to its leadership qualities. Focus on becoming a good reader of the team and adapt your leadership style to what is needed.

Don’t let failure be fatal

Keep going. Don’t let setbacks stop you. Carry your lessons forward, and change your approach as required. Don’t fear change … it is a fact of life. Failure is not fatal, but often a failure to change can be.

Lead by example

What you do is so much more important than what you say. As a leader, you should be the hardest worker, the most well-prepared, and the one willing to do all the things no one else wants to do.

Develop other leaders

Leaders are measured not just on what they achieve personally but also on what the people they mentored go on to do as leaders in their right. Take pride in people you have developed.

Agree to disagree, but don’t be disagreeable

It is all about maintaining a positive attitude all the time, even when times are tough. People can agree to disagree, but need to avoid being disagreeable at all costs.

Often leaders who do their job too well end up surrounded by a bunch of “yes-men/women”. This can have disastrous consequences.

The bottom line

Remember this simple fact. Does leadership focus on people the best definition of a leader? Someone who helps people succeed. Let your leadership success be your difference maker.

Need some help in capturing more improvements for your staff’s leadership, teamwork, and collaboration? Creative ideas in running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?

Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.

Call Mike at 607-725-8240.

All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.

When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.

Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Are you devoting enough energy innovating your social media strategy?

Do you have a lesson about making your advertising better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?

Mike Schoultz is the founder of Digital Spark Marketing, a digital marketing and customer service agency. With 40 years of business experience, he blogs on topics that relate to improving the performance of your business. Find them on G+, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed how reasonable we will be.

More leadership material from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:

Leadership Characteristics that Improve Influence

10 Leadership Competencies You Should Not Live Without

Building Collaboration and Sharing Skills in your Staff

How to Create the Best Leadership Accountability

The Zen of Abraham Lincolns Leadership Lessons

Like this short blog? Follow Digital Spark Marketing on LinkedIn or add us to your circles for 3-4 short, interesting blogs, stories per week.

Leadership Management: 12 Popular Examples of Leader Lessons

We are all ignorant … just about different things. Interesting quote from Will Rogers, yes? Are you a student of the concepts on the best leadership management qualities and attributes?

Dwight Eisenhower certainly was, wasn’t he? Spot on. I also like to study examples of leadership.

Examples of leadership.

I have been in leadership positions in the military and business world for forty years and I often get asked what it takes to be an effective, influential leader. Dwight Eisenhower was only of many I studied over those many years.

Being such a leader is a lifelong learning process. You are never done learning. Every great leader always looks for ways to improve their ability to improve their leadership qualities and attributes.

Related: How to Create the Best Leadership Accountability

If you read 10 books on leadership, you could easily build a checklist of 50 or more leadership qualities and attributes. It was also most likely include many leadership myths. But more is not necessarily better for the best checklist.

This following list of leader myths represents my favorites that are often described as leadership attributes. How many of these myths do you recognize?

Leadership management … everyone can be a leader?

Certainly not true. Many senior managers don’t have the self-knowledge or the required authenticity for leadership. And authenticity and self-knowledge are only 2 of the important skills in the equation.

People must also want to be leaders, and many talented employees are not interested in taking on that responsibility.

Many others prefer to devote more time to other private live interests than to their work, and more time to work than being a boss.

Leaders are great coaches

Rarely does this happen? Leaders don’t often have the talent nor time to inspire the troops, impact technical skills, and successfully manage the business.

More typically you see leaders whose strengths lie in their ability to excite others in their vision rather than their coaching talents.

My favorite example of this type of leader would be Steve Jobs.

Open and honest relationships

“Because I said so” leadership may work for a child but it doesn’t work with adults. In many cases it creates frustration and confusion, resulting in more infractions and disdain for leadership.

As an alternative, focus on open and honest communication where you can carefully explain why you focus on your objectives and what you are aiming to accomplish.

Connecting is all there is

President Lincoln was once asked how long it took him to write the Gettysburg Address. He replied: ‘All my life’.

Lincoln knew who he was and what he stood for and that influenced his entire perspective on life. Most people are the same … they want to know who you are and what you stand for before they follow you.

Leadership is a 2-way agreement.

Consistent styles

Gratitude must be a constant drumbeat of your dialogue. Infuse your conversations with an appreciation of your team’s acumen and determination to improve.

Learn to be thankful certainly when there’s great success, but also be thankful for what you’ve learned through the hard times because there’s great wisdom in those experiences.

After you have been knocked down, get up, gain your composure, reflect on why this occurred and make the necessary changes.

People who rise to the top are best leaders

This is certainly not always the case. One of the most persistent misperceptions is that people in leadership positions are leaders.

Often it is the case that people who made it to the top have done so because of political acumen and not because of true leadership skills. What’s more, real leaders are found all over the organization, from the top to the bottom.

Leaders are simply people who have followers, and rank doesn’t have that much to do with it.

All the military organizations have long realized the importance of developing leaders at all levels of the organization.

Put people first

Many of us want to be effective leaders … ones that can make a difference.

But that doesn’t happen by talking about it or self-marketing. It takes time to build connections, to take a genuine interest in people.

In true leadership situations, listening comes first.

Perhaps the worst personal trait I’ve personally observed is ego. We all have an ego, but the ego I’m talking about is the ‘superego’ that dominates.

I’ve found if a leader is really good at what they do, they won’t have to tell others about it.

Do what it takes to make your team more effective and productive. Make each team member focus on putting the team before themselves.

Remember, whatever your role is, be a servant to the team and make your teammates better.

Best leaders deliver best results

Not always the case for sure. If results were always a matter of good leadership skills, choosing leaders would certainly easier. But clearly, things are usually not that simple.

Many businesses can often do well with competent management rather than great leadership.

On the flip side, some well-led businesses do not necessarily produce strong results, particularly in the short term.

Continuous improvement and learning

Many people who think they are leaders will never acknowledge making errors or mistakes. They don’t realize that if you’re not doing, you’re not learning.

Everybody makes mistakes. It’s what you do with them that counts.

Adapt your leadership to the team

Not all teams are the same and each requires and responds best to its own leadership qualities. Some professed leaders cannot adapt under any circumstances.

They only have one mode and can’t adapt. No ability to focus on becoming a good reader of the team and adapt a leadership style to what is needed.

Limited character and more concerned about reputation

Your reputation will vary. It’s your character that counts and it’s what you can control. This myth shows people more concerned with their reputation.

Remember that your reputation is what you are perceived to be, and your character is what you actually are.

Your character is much more important than what you are perceived to be, isn’t it?

Working long hours is everything

Keep the reverse of this statement near the top of your leadership priorities. Preach it and definitely live it.

Remember that the best leaders know that balance is everything.

Be balanced … controlled action in all areas of life.

Key takeaways

The moral of this story is that many leadership qualities are not that at all. They are only myths and can have an influence on leadership development. Beware.

If these different thoughts are possessed by your current leadership team or your emerging leaders, you should take note of the road ahead.

Customer engagement improvements are worth the effort.

Which of these leadership myths stand out to you? Do you have any other thoughts of leadership myths worthy of mention? Leave a comment and share your insights.

Need some help in capturing more improvements in your staff’s leadership, teamwork, and collaboration? Creative ideas in running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?

Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.

Call Mike at 607-725-8240.

All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.

When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.

Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Are you devoting enough energy to innovating your social media strategy?

Do you have a lesson about making your advertising better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?

Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed at how reasonable we will be.

More leadership material from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:

Leadership Characteristics that Improve Influence

14 Pepsi Relationship Building Strategies to Create the Perfect One

Given the wealth of information available online, the need to learn the Pepsi relationship building is becoming ever more important. Why? Because today’s consumers are more informed than you can imagine.

This has resulted in a drastic shift in consumer power and has altered the selling process by placing a greater emphasis on both customer relationships and customer experience.

Most businesses do not have a clear understanding of what relationship building is and how to successfully put it into practice. Pepsi is not one of them. Let’s debunk one misconception right from the start:

Relationship building isn’t the opposite of traditional marketing, and it doesn’t exclude older channels (like email marketing and content marketing) in favor of solely using social media.

To clarify this important practice, today we’ll look at the most important recommendations in relationship building campaigns.

We’ll even give you the inside scoop from notable entrepreneurs and Pepsi on how relationships helped build the audiences that built their businesses.

Let’s get started.

What is the business relationship building?

With a focus on loyalty, retention and long-term relationships, the aptly named practice of “relationship marketing” is designed around developing strong connections with customers by directly providing them with information that is tailored to their needs, wants and interests.

As opposed to transactional marketing’s focus on direct sales, relationship marketing emphasizes increased word-of-mouth activity, repeat business and a willingness on the customer’s part to provide information to the organization.

And unlike “interruption” marketing, this process is started willingly via an opt-in by the customer.

Pepsi relationship building … the value add

But is this focus on creating a Pepsi relationship with customers worthwhile? As we previously discussed, the shocking truth of brand loyalty is that most customers do not want to be engaged with a business or brand; their priority is shared

The secret here is that the relationship marketing process has nothing to do with engagement and everything to do with being practically useful for both your business and customers.

According to a management study by Robin Buchanan and Crawford Gillies, the increased profitability associated with relationship building is the result of several factors:

Less “dating around”

Satisfied, long-term customers in your marketing funnel are statistically less likely to switch.

As a bonus, they tend to be less price-sensitive; experts say that customers who feel taken care of are less concerned about what they are paying.

Pepsi relationship building … avoid the cost of acquisition

The famous Bain & Company analysis that it is 6 to 7 times more expensive to acquire a new customer than to keep a current one is something that keeps marketers up at night.

But businesses with high rates of customer satisfaction needn’t worry about high churn rates.

It’s the foundation of the word of mouth

Strong relationships are essential to a high net promoter score.

In other words, the chance that a customer will happily refer your business to a friend.

Pepsi relationship building … your advocates are your rock

Regular customers tend to buy more often.

They are less expensive to maintain because of their familiarity with your business and the processes behind it.

Business Information: How to Completely Change Your Success Priorities

Expansion becomes easier

Longstanding customers are much more likely to purchase your ancillary products and embrace your new ventures (think of those folks you know who buy each new Apple gadget).

Pepsi relationship building builds customer trust

Most businesses today consider themselves to be trustworthy, and by yesterday’s standards, they are.

They post their prices and rates honestly, they try their best to maintain the quality and reliability of their service, they protect the security of their customers’ funds, and they do what they promise.

But even though they don’t lie or steal, the fact is that the vast majority of financial services companies still generate substantial profits by fooling customers, or by capitalizing on their mistakes, or by taking advantage of them when they simply aren’t paying attention.

That approach in today’s environment is a direct route to customer attrition. Retention and growth now entail acting in customers’ best interest.

Acting in the customer’s interest requires companies to balance the benefit of an immediate profit against the cost of earning respect and confidence of a customer—an asset that is, in the long term, far more valuable.

Financial services companies must become more trustable because as the rising power of customers exposes untrustable behavior the question of a company’s trustability will go to the heart of its value proposition.

Trustability will become an essential element of any bank’s customer service in the future in much the same way that having a website has become an essential element of customer service today.

For survival

To survive in this new, hyper-transparent world in which extreme trust is a prerequisite for business success, Pepsi has shown must pursue these basic courses of action:

Building Repeat Customers: 11 Easy Fixes for Customer Growth

Pepsi relationship building … good intentions

Having empathy for customers, and treating each one the way you would want to be treated if you were that customer, is the single most important element of trustability. Pepsi has this down pat.

To be trustable, you have to adopt a customer-centric philosophy, and then re-engineer your value proposition and customer experience from the standpoint of the customer.

This will have consequences for your operating policies, of course, but the eventual implications for your firm’s culture will be even more profound.

If your call center reps, sales, marketing, don’t believe you are a trustable company, then your customers won’t either.

Rethinking control

In the transparent future, Pepsi won’t be able to retain control over communications about their brand. The only thing you will control is how well your business processes protect your customers’ interests.

To make your command-and-control, hierarchical firm more trustable, you will have to give more authority to individual employees, empowering them to “sense and respond” in real time to customer issues.

And don’t be too afraid to allow your workers to show your company’s human side, including its vulnerability.

A little vulnerability will encourage customers to be empathetic to you, and empathy generates trust.

Pepsi relationship building … ask good questions

Many people think good listening means always letting someone finish every thought and nodding along.

Instead, active listening requires that you ask questions while you are listening. Sometimes this means interrupting – but this isn’t something to be afraid of.

Often the interruptions will lead to tangents that create more intersections for both of the people in a conversation.

Build community

One of the secrets of the e-social revolution is that people have an irresistible urge to share with others. They make their opinions known, they contribute ideas, they collaborate on things such as Wikipedia and open-source software.

Pepsi even finds that customers provide the best kind of customer service for other customers.

If you want to become more trustable, you have to tap this sharing instinct, first by sharing your honest counsel with customers.

Talk to them not just regarding how they can get more value from their financial products, but how they can better manage their resources, and how they can save and spend responsibly.

Pepsi facilitates customers collaborating with other customers, through online community platforms, social sharing sites, product reviews, and problem-solving customer forums. Wow, does that work well.

**Pepsi relationship building s*hows competence***

To be trustable not only must you intend to act in the customer’s best interest, but you also have to have the competence to act on that intention.

On a basic level, this means paying close attention to the quality of your product and service.

But as important, you should upgrade your data, analytics, and systems. Quantifying the financial benefits of long-term customer trust and confidence requires good analytics.

Customer lifetime values are not easy to compute, but in the financial services industry, more than in most other categories, the statistical data is available.

There is no shortage of analytical tools to make these calculations.

If you want your company to become more trustable, you’ll have to begin paying attention to the data and pushing the envelope on analysis.

Stimulate stories

Some questions lead to answers, and then there are questions that lead to stories. Here’s one way you might start a story seeking question, “What inspired you to …”

When people share stories, they go beyond feeling like they are being interrogated. They open up, and they connect.

The more stories you can hear, the more connection you’ll feel to everyone you speak to.