Tag: be forgiving

Deadly Sins Which Will Devastate a Positive Attitude

We are all very aware of the impact of positive thinking ideas on our success in life. But how to avoid deadly sins is another matter, isn’t it? How have you ever used checklists to improve your productivity … or perhaps your positive mental thinking? How well did they work for you?

Be positive ...
Work on attitude.

We often use checklists to achieve our goal to create positive thinking that can see opportunity in every difficulty.

After college, I spent almost 2 years training as a naval aviator. An important element of that training was the use of checklists in the learning and refresher process. Checklist utilization remains an important part of my business life. It is always a good idea to have a helpful checklist for reminders of improvements for your business or your personal life.

You will perhaps have heard this very old story illustrating the difference between positive thinking and negative thinking:

Many years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to investigate and report back on market potential.

The first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here – nobody wears shoes.”

The second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here – nobody wears shoes.”

This simple short story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed in two quite different ways – negatively or positively.

I keep a stack of 10 or so checklists that I rotate and update occasionally. I pull out one checklist to read and contemplate for five minutes as a way to start each day. I find it puts my thinking in the right frame of mind. Here is one checklist example of simple reminders to improve the odds of success in any task that I or my team may be doing:

Savor life’s joys

Deep happiness cannot exist without slowing down to soak up the positives all around you.

Be forgiving

Harboring feelings of hate and meanness is horrible for your well-being.

Authority

Avoid social comparisons

Comparing yourself to someone else can be a poison to your positive thinking.

Express gratitude

When you appreciate what you love, what you love appreciates in value. If you aren’t thankful for what you already have, you will have a hard time ever being positive.

Nurture your relationships

The most positive people we know are the ones who make friends easily and work to build deep, meaningful relationships.

Develop coping strategies

It always helps to have healthy ways to cope in your arsenal.

Increase flow experiences

We define flow as a state in which it feels as if time is standing still. It occurs when you are so focused on what you are doing that you become one with the task. In this state, nothing competes for your attention.

Become an optimist

People who think as an optimist see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially in tougher times.

Practice acts of kindness

Selflessly helping someone is a super powerful way to create a positive attitude.

Commit to your goals

Magical things start happening when we commit ourselves to do whatever it takes to achieve our objectives.

If you are in a business where you deal with people on a regular basis, like we are, your motivation and positive thinking need to be in ‘top gear’ (as it will usually impact most issues of the day).  By spending 5-10 minute reading and thinking about the items on the checklist, you will be better prepared for the events of the day.

Do you consider your company a social commerce business? While there has been considerable hype about social commerce in the last few years, we don’t consider it new … it has been around as long as commerce. These days there are just more channels to engage customers and be social. Positive thinking is everything in this regard.

We like to discuss the importance of positive thinking tips on the success of any business, particularly those that engage with the public to a great extent. Here is a story about a nursery in our region. It is a story we like to tell because it contains some simple secrets for connecting positive thinking to employee and customer engagement.

A nursery gardener ran a business that had been in the family for two generations. The staff was happy, and customers loved to visit the store, or to have the staff work on their gardens or make deliveries – anything from bedding plants to young trees.

For as long as anyone could remember, the current and previous owners were extremely positive-thinking people.

Most folks assumed it was because they ran a successful business. In fact, it was the other way around…

A tradition in the business was that the owner always wore a big lapel badge, saying Business Is Great!

The business was indeed generally great, although it went through tough times like any other company. What never changed however was the owner’s positive thinking and attitude, and the badge saying Business Is Great!

Everyone who saw the badge for the first time invariably asked, “What’s so great about business?” Sometimes people would also comment that their own business was miserable, or even that they personally were miserable or stressed.

Anyhow, the Business Is Great! badge always tended to start a conversation, which typically involved the owner talking about lots of positive aspects of business and work, for example:

The pleasure of meeting and talking with different people every day

Reward that comes from helping staff take on new challenges and experiences

Fun and laughter in a relaxed and healthy work environment

Fascination in the work itself, and in the other people’s work and businesses

Great feeling when you finish a job and do it to the best of your capabilities

New things you learn every day – even without looking to do so

The thought is that everyone in business is blessed – because there are many millions of people who would swap their own situation to have the same opportunities of doing a productive meaningful job, in a civilized well-fed country, where we have no real worries.

And so the list went on. And no matter how miserable a person was, they’d usually end up feeling a lot happier after just a couple of minutes of listening to all this infectious enthusiasm and positivity.

It is impossible to quantify or measure attitude like this, but to one extent or another it’s probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, on which point if asked about the badge in a quiet moment, the business owner would confide:

The badge came first. Great business followed.

Key Takeaways from this story

Remember, this is the time to create remarkable experiences in order to create lasting relationships with customers. Lead with initiative … own the moment. Remember attitude is everything.

Want to see some additional tips on how to build customer relationships?

Being social with great positive thinking and attitude isn’t a new way of marketing; it’s a way of doing business.

All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.

When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.

Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.

Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?

Do you have a lesson about making your learning better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?

Mike Schoultz is the founder of Digital Spark Marketing, a digital marketing and customer service agency. With 40 years of business experience, he blogs on topics that relate to improving the performance of your business. Find them on G+, Twitter, and LinkedIn.  

Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change.  We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way.

More reading on continuous learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:

10 Ways Personal Development Can Improve Long-Term Success

Creative Ideas to Build Collaborative Teams in Organizations

The Story and Zen of Getting Things Done

How to Take Charge of Your Peace of Mind

Being a Gentleman: 10 Best Traits We Could Find

Gentleman. Such a funny word. The stereotype of “men” is to be tough, rugged, driven—all very masculine words. And yet the word Gentleman has the word “gentle” in it. If you were looking to define the meaning of being a gentleman, what would you include?

being a gentleman
Being a gentleman.

Keep learning: Remarkable Lessons in Motivation Steve Jobs Taught Me
Before I give you my answer, let me share a perspective on life.
Much of what we do is driven by fear of failure.
The pursuit of material wealth distracts us from activities and people that provide more lasting pleasure and satisfaction.
There are no more powerful desires than the pursuit of happiness and the struggle for self-respect.
If means can be found that move people in these directions: better jobs, education, the chance to improve one’s life, and a sense of fairness and opportunity, the seductive and short-lived bliss provided by drugs will lose its appeal.
Parents have a limited ability to shape children’s behavior, except for the worse.
Anxiety is contagious. Children sense it in their parents and are affected by it.
Given love and support, most children grow into happy, productive adults independent of whatever theory of parenting they were raised with.
Set reasonable limits on children’s behavior. Provoke less confrontation and resentment.
When Russell Baker first submitted the memoir of his youth, Growing Up, it was rejected by a publisher as uninteresting. He then told his wife, “I am going upstairs to invent the story of my life.”
The result was a best seller – and no less true than the original version.
Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic.
Does it mean that to be a “man” is not enough?
To me, that is only one-half of the puzzle. To be a gentleman, you must also be gentle.
Being male does not guarantee a boy will grow up to be a gentleman and the current self-absorbed culture is not likely to model or promote the qualities of a gentleman.
It is a process for a boy to become a man and develop into a gentleman. Parents invest a great deal of time and resources to develop their son’s academic, athletic, or artistic talent, with little or no thought as to what is required for him to mature into a gentleman.
A gentleman understands that his appearance, behavior, and way of communicating provide others with valuable insight into his character. He knows that he did not acquire his true strength at the gym.
Rather, he demonstrates true strength through his strong character and integrity.
To us, the ten best things a gentleman must have are as follows:

A positive attitude

Build and maintain a positive mental attitude. Do things to let it be seen and felt by others.
It’s often easier to give into cynicism, but those who choose to be positive set themselves up for success and have better reputations.

 

Patience

The proper timing of your words and acts will give you a big advantage over people who are impatient.
Much of real happiness is a matter of being aware of what you’re doing while you’re doing it — and enraged people aren’t typically conscious of their actions.
Learning: Continuous Learning Actions … Skills Everyone Should Refresh
 

Being a gentleman … a consistent smile

The greatest asset a gentleman can show is a ‘million-dollar smile.’ This allows people to lower their guards during conversations with you.

 

Show you care

Gentlemen don’t pretend to be likable; they are likable because they show care for others.
No matter where you go, what you do, or what mistakes you have made, a gentleman will always be there to care for you.
Even if you go against his beliefs, or hurt the people he holds dear, he will still give you the respect and kindness you are due.
A gentleman will always drop what he is doing, will sacrifice his time and effort and will do what necessary every time someone requires his service is.
To a gentleman, there is no higher calling than service to others, than bringing joy, kindness, and prosperity to the world.
A gentleman will always act with these things in mind and walk through fire before he ever lets any of this fall.
No matter where you are if you are hurt, the gentleman will always care.

rules to be a gentleman
Rules to be a gentleman.

 

Self-awareness

Without self-awareness, you are nothing more than an unstoppable wrecking ball. Some people, many people see that as an admirable trait, the ability to push forward by any means necessary.
This is the “toughness” that is often associated with being a man.
However, without self-awareness, that same wrecking ball mentality can also end up being quite destructive—to you and those around you. Sometimes pushing through isn’t what needs to be done.
Sometimes another goal or achievement won’t solve the issue. Self-awareness is the ability to pause that relentless desire to move forward and contemplate your present role in the situation.
 

The ability to play

All are growing up; my mother would drag me to musical events, camps, etc. Whenever I would say, “Mom, I don’t want to,” her reply would be, “Cole, when you get older, and a girl wants to go out dancing, you are going to thank me.”
I always thought she was referring to the physical act of dancing—and in many ways, she was.
But what she meant was that women love to play.
Playing is a very feminine act. It’s the reason why the stereotype has become for all those tough business men in suits to not leap out onto the dance floor.
Playing is vulnerable, and that is often thought of (by men) as revealing a weakness.
The truth is, in the eyes of a woman, it’s the complete opposite.
The ability to play is gentle and attractive.

 

Being a gentleman … humility

Men that blame are not men. They are boys who have not yet understood the power of accountability.
A gentleman, then, in every moment is willing to reflect and see what it is he has brought to the table to contribute to the current situation.
He is not afraid to say, “I made a mistake. I was wrong.”
Many men fear to say those words because, again, they see it as revealing a vulnerability. To be wrong is to be weak—when really, it is entirely the opposite.
A woman wants to feel understood and heard and to move forward gracefully, that means taking accountability and allowing for that to happen.
Humility too is the constant act of knowing who you are without needing to be validated for it. Your self-confidence comes from a deep sense of self-understanding and acceptance, not from how much you have in the material sense.
As Ron Gibori would tell me: “Nobody needs to know but you.”
A gentleman does not care for the attention of the world and will give praise where it is due.
He doesn’t concern himself with praise or rests on his laurels, for he knows that there is always more to learn.
All the good deed the gentleman does will go unnoticed because he knows that actions speak louder than words… always.
He is humble, modest in whatever he does, and confident enough to display this modesty wherever he goes. How does that strike you?
Are you humble enough? Good question, huh?

Responsibility

When I was 18 years old, I told my parents they couldn’t tell me what to do anymore because I was an “adult” now. I was a “man.”
My father said, “Mike, you might be a legal adult, but you won’t know what a man being is like until you have real responsibilities.”
He was right.
If a man or manhood comes with responsibility, then a gentleman is someone who can handle life’s responsibilities gracefully. He can manage his challenges while still putting others before himself.
He can be stressed and have the self-awareness not to take it out on other people. He can earn for himself and at the same time look for ways to help others who may not be there yet.
A gentleman doesn’t just throw money at problems. He looks for ways to teach, empower, and nurture, so that others can grow and mature too.

 

how to be a gentleman to your girlfriend
How to be a gentleman to your girlfriend.

Be forgiving

And finally, a gentleman knows how to forgive.
Note: that does not mean he should forget, or continue to allow for the same mistakes to happen over and over again.
Forgiveness has more to do with the ability to let go of old feelings within himself—for his sake, and the sake of the other person.
The ability to forgive is what allows for more positive energy to flow.
And positive energy is what women are most attracted to.

 

 

Live with integrity

A gentleman is just as honest, direct and kind when he is around people as when he is alone.
What he does behind the scenes is not any less important or valuable than what he does when he shines in the limelight, and it is not any different.
What you see is what you get; gentleman does not need to pretend to be someone else.
He is confident enough in himself and in who he is that he shines wherever he goes, even if he is not always mature.

 

 

The bottom line

 

These are things that we already know, of course. They are not rocket science and shouldn’t be.
This list of little things simply reminds us of what we have forgotten. Then it is up to us to put these lessons (or reminders) into daily use through persistence and practice.
Remember … your experience and learning trumps all!

 

 

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Need some help in capturing more improvements for your staff’s leadership, teamwork, and collaboration? Creative ideas in running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?
 
Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.
Call Mike at 607-725-8240.
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?
Do you have a lesson about making your learning better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?
 
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change.  We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed how reasonable we will be.
  
More reading on learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
The Nine Most Valuable Secrets of Writing Effective Copy
How Good Is your Learning from Failure?
10 Extraordinary Ways for Learning to Learn
Continuous Learning Holds the Keys to Your Future Success
 
 Mike Schoultz likes to write about the topics that lead to small business success. He also likes to share his many business experiences. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, Pinterest, and LinkedIn.