Do you often look back at your life and wonder what the most important things you learned were? That certainly is something I reflect on more as I grow older. This post will offer advice for the younger generation.
After 45 years and three careers, I am still learning but reflecting more on what I learn.
So, with this in mind, here are some lessons that I would select and continue to develop if I had the chance to do it all over again:
Think different
Try and explore new ideas without bringing your old ideas along for the ride. Never reject ideas just because you will not agree with them. Examine and study thoughts before setting them aside. Stand out to be heard.
Remember your learning won’t all come from your books and professors. You will constantly need to remind yourself about the importance of having a good balance in your life.
Learn how to learn
Note, in all likelihood, most of you have not mastered this one yet. And when you think you have it down, new technology will come along to add access to more information. Nonetheless, you will spend your life on this one, so you might as well start as soon as possible.
Practice the art of asking good questions
I know, I know, you thought the tough act was getting the answers nailed. Yes, that is difficult. But asking really good questions is more important. It starts with being a good listener.
This is where good questions are needed. This is also a key source for your learning.
Don’t fear failure
Everyone who has ever accomplished things in life has had many failures along the way. The key is how you learn from the failure to keep moving forward.
Live life to the fullest and enjoy every moment. Easier said than done, isn’t it? Especially if you give a life hack you’ve shared. A few simple practices can improve your ability to enjoy life. Practice each one until it becomes a habit, then move to the next.
… I know, I know, you thought the tough act was getting the answers nailed. Yes, that is difficult. But asking the really good questions is more important. It starts with being a good listener.
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Life hack you’ve shared … be curious about everything
…this is where the good questions are needed. This is also a key source for your learning.
… try and explore new ideas without bringing your old ideas along for the ride. Never reject ideas just because you will not agree with them. Examine and study thoughts before setting them aside.
Stand out to be heard.
Learn how to learn
… note, in all likelihood, most of you have not mastered this one yet. And when you think you have it down, new technology will come along to add access to more information.
None-the-less, you will spend your life on this one, so you might as well start as soon as possible.
Career-focused
This is probably the most difficult of the lessons, particularly early to mid-career. At least it was for me. To be successful in this lesson, you should develop a breath to your list of activities and always put family and friends first.
To do both well, think about activities that maximize your friends and family, like coaching your children’s sports teams.
Knowing who you are
Your life will be in constant change mode, and that is a good thing if you lead change in the direction of your success goals.
To do that most successfully, you should have a good understanding of who you are and what direction you are going. Certainly, you must know your strengths and weaknesses pretty well.
All of these lessons on success get better when you have a strong foundation in knowing how to stay happy. One big part of being successful in happiness is learning how to share kindness.
It costs you nothing and you’d be surprised how much in can do for your happiness.
Never fearing failure
While we don’t want to put failure on a pedestal, all of us experience failures in our lives and our careers.
The secret sauce is all about learning from them and moving on in our lives as quickly as possible. Realize that careers and lives won’t fall apart from them.
Maintain the status quo
Working with a few new activities and new environments is a guaranteed way to limit both your imagination and creativity. The true enemy of imagination is the acceptance of the status quo.
Try to do and experience many new things. Do things differently. This could be as simple as taking a new route to work or perhaps learning how to write with both hands. The true enemy of imagination is the acceptance of the status quo.
Limited view of imagination
Are you constraining your view of what imagination is? Shouldn’t be very many constraints should there?
First, break the habit of seeing imagination as only appropriate for art or music. Almost every article written on imagination is about music or art. Despite the fact, many other significant bits of intelligence need to be encouraged.
To stretch this limited view of imagination; note that everything you use has been invented by someone who applied imagination to solving a problem. Think about who invented the pocket or the wheel and how they used better observation skills to increases the awareness of possibilities.
So the priority is to give yourself problems to solve, and as this naturally develops, it encourages imagination. Indeed, problem-solving is nothing more than applied imagination at work.
Are you going overboard recognizing and rewarding your imagination? That can constrain additional creative thinking and improvement ideas.
Limit experiences
Do you lack an ability to explore and try new things? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?
Observation is the mother of imagination. A person who is not exposed to new things cannot bring new thinking to a problem. For imagination to grow, a silo filled with resources must exist to feed it.
he more experiences, the greater the imagination that can be brought to bear on potential solutions.
Life hack you’ve shared … think broad
Have a problem with a vision of what could be, especially in new fields of endeavor? Are you lacking confidence in expanding your horizon and setting aggressive goals?
Make new friends in new fields and use their expertise to infuse new ideas into your thinking cap.
Create diverse teams and rotate yourself into new projects and roles– especially ones you are fascinated by.
Be disruptive and change the playing field
Don’t settle for the ordinary or the mundane, even if it means a little controversy. Don’t be afraid of ticking someone off. Make those around you think.
Don’t believe you know as much as you think
Find an experienced entrepreneur-like mentor to help and guide you and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Listen to feedback from your mentor and others. Sure, you’ll get some bad inputs, but learn to filter.
Avoid the time killers
This includes constant email monitoring, meeting to meet, having in-person chats when phone or Skype will work. Your time is very valuable, make the most of it.
And last but not least ….
Have fun
You won’t find this skill on many lists, because many people would not consider it a skill.
I not only consider it a skill (fun doesn’t often happen without working at it!), but we consider it so fundamental to all the other skills on the list that it is my top priority.
The corollary to this skill must be mastered as well … when you dislike something, stop doing it.
Be a multiplier
Multiplier individuals know that at the apex of the intelligence hierarchy is NOT the lone genius.
Rather, it is the genius who knows the importance of bringing out the smarts and capabilities in everyone in the team.
Related material: Lessons Learned in Life … Class Continues Daily
Build connections
Both managers and leaders know their job with their teams is about building lots of connections. They make people feel they have a stake in common problems.
Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.
Call Mike at 607-725-8240.
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed at how reasonable we will be.
More reading on learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
We all reach critical points in our lives where being more mentally tough is tested. It might be a toxic friend or colleague, a dead-end job, or a struggling relationship.
Be more mentally tough.
Whatever the challenge, you have to be strong, see things through a new lens, and take decisive action if you want to move through it successfully.
It sounds easy. We all want good friends, good jobs, and good relationships.
But it isn’t.
It’s hard to be mentally tough, especially when you feel stuck. The ability to break the mold and take a bold new direction requires that extra grit, daring, and spunk that only the mentally toughest people have.
It’s fascinating how mentally tough people set themselves apart from the crowd. Where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome.
When Thomas Edison’s factory burned to the ground in 1914, destroying one-of-a-kind prototypes and causing $23 million in damage, Edison’s response was simple:
“Thank goodness all our mistakes were burned up. Now we can start fresh again.”
Edison’s reaction is the epitome of mental toughness—seeing opportunity and taking action when things look bleak.
There are habits you can develop to improve your mental toughness. The hallmarks of mentally tough people are strategies that you can begin using today.
They’re emotionally intelligent
Emotional intelligence is the cornerstone of mental toughness. You cannot be mentally tough without the ability to fully understand and tolerate strong negative emotions and do something productive with them.
Moments that test your mental toughness are ultimately testing your emotional intelligence (EQ).
Unlike your IQ, which is fixed, your EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with understanding and effort.
It’s no wonder that 90% of top performers have high EQs and people with high EQs earn $28,000 more annually (on average) than their low-EQ counterparts.
Unfortunately, EQ skills are in short supply. TalentSmart has tested more than a million people, and we’ve found that just 36% of these can accurately identify their emotions as they happen.
More mentally tough … they’re confident
“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t—you’re right.” — Henry Ford
Mentally tough people subscribe to Ford’s notion that your mind has a powerful effect on your ability to succeed. This notion isn’t just a motivational tool—it’s a fact.
A recent study at the University of Melbourne showed that confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted more quickly than others did.
True confidence—as opposed to the false confidence people project to mask their insecurities—has a look all its own.
Mentally tough people have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish because their confidence inspires others and helps them to make things happen.
How to be mentally strong.
They neutralize toxic people
Dealing with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. Mentally tough people control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their feelings in check.
When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the situation rationally. They identify their emotions and don’t allow anger or frustration for fueling the chaos.
They also consider the difficult person’s standpoint and can find common ground and solutions to problems.
Even when things completely derail, mentally tough people can take the toxic person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
More mentally tough … they embrace change
Mentally tough people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness.
They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur.
Only when you embrace change can you find the good in it. You need to have an open mind and open arms if you’re going to recognize and capitalize on, the opportunities that change creates.
You’re bound to fail when you keep doing the same things you always have in the hope that ignoring change will make it go away.
After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
More mentally tough … they say no
Research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco showed that the more difficulty you have said no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression.
Mentally tough people know that saying no is healthy, and they have the self-esteem and foresight to make their nos clear.
When it’s time to say no, mentally tough people avoid phrases such as “I don’t think I can” or “I’m not certain.”
They say no with confidence because they know that saying no to a new commitment honors their existing commitments and gives them the opportunity to fulfill them successfully.
The mentally tough also know how to exert self-control by saying no to themselves. They delay gratification and avoid impulsive action that causes harm.
More mentally tough … they know fear is the source of regret
Mentally tough people know that they will lament the chances they didn’t take far more than they will their failures. Don’t be afraid to take risks.
I often hear people say, “What’s the worst thing that can happen to you? Will it kill you?”
Death isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you. The worst thing that can happen to you is allowing yourself to die inside while you’re still alive.
It takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and remembering.
Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy, while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them.
The key to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall.
They embrace failure
Mentally tough people embrace failure because they know that the road to success is paved with it. No one ever experienced true success without first embracing failure.
By revealing when you’re on the wrong path, your mistakes pave the way for you to succeed. The biggest breakthroughs typically come when you’re feeling the most frustrated and the most stuck.
It’s this frustration that forces you to think differently, to look outside the box, and to see the solution that you’ve been missing.
Related: 12 Things Successful People Never Reveal About Themselves at Work
They don’t dwell on mistakes
Mentally tough in a sport.
Mentally tough people know that where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems that you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress, which hinders performance.
When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy, which produces positive emotions and improves performance.
Mentally tough people distance themselves from their mistakes, but they do so without forgetting them.
By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy enough to refer to, they can adapt and adjust for future success.
They won’t let anyone limit their joy
When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from comparing yourself to others, you are no longer the master of your happiness.
When mentally tough people feel good about something they do, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or accomplishments take that away from them.
While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.
Mentally tough people know that regardless of what people think of them at any particular moment, one thing is certain—they’re never as good or bad as people say they are.
More mentally tough … they don’t limit the joy of others
Mentally tough people don’t pass judgment on others because they know that everyone has something to offer, and they don’t need to take other people down a notch to feel good about themselves.
Comparing yourself to other people is limiting. Jealousy and resentment suck the life right out of you; they’re massive energy-stealers.
Mentally tough people don’t waste time or energy sizing people up and worrying about whether or not they measure up.
Instead of wasting your energy on jealousy, funnel that energy into appreciation. When you celebrate the success of other people, you both benefit.
They exercise
A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for ten weeks felt more socially, intellectually, and athletically competent.
They also rated their body image and self-esteem higher.
Best of all, rather than the physical changes in their bodies being responsible for the uptick in confidence, which is key to mental toughness, it was the immediate, endorphin-fueled positivity from exercise that made all the difference.
More mentally tough … they get enough shut-eye
It’s difficult to overstate the importance of sleep in increasing your mental toughness.
When you sleep, your brain removes toxic proteins, which are by-products of neural activity when you’re awake.
Unfortunately, your brain can remove them adequately only while you’re asleep, so when you don’t get enough sleep, the toxic proteins remain in your brain cells, wreaking havoc by impairing your ability to think—something no amount of caffeine can fix.
Mentally tough people know that their self-control, focus, and memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep, so they make quality sleep a top priority.
They limit their caffeine intake
Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, the source of the fight-or-flight response.
The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of faster response to ensure survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you but not so great when life throws you a curve.
When caffeine puts your brain and body into this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior.
Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time working its way out of your body.
Mentally tough people know that too much caffeine is trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.
They don’t wait for an apology to forgive
Mentally tough people know that life goes a lot smoother once you let go of grudges and forgive even those who never said they were sorry.
Grudges let negative events from your past ruin today’s happiness. Hate and anger are emotional parasites that destroy your joy in life.
The negative emotions that come with holding on to a grudge create a stress response in your body, and holding on to stress can have devastating consequences (both physically and mentally).
When you forgive someone, it doesn’t condone their actions; it simply frees you from being their eternal victim.
They’re relentlessly positive
Keep your eyes on the news for any length of time, and you’ll see that it’s just one endless cycle of war, violent attacks, fragile economies, failing companies, and environmental disasters.
It’s easy to think the world is headed downhill fast.
And who knows? Maybe it is.
But mentally tough people don’t worry about that because they don’t get caught up in things they can’t control.
Instead of trying to start a revolution overnight, they focus their energy on directing the two things that are completely within their power—their attention and their effort.
The bottom line
Mental toughness is not an innate quality bestowed upon a select few. It can be achieved and enjoyed.
Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.
Call Mike at 607-725-8240.
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed at how reasonable we will be.
More reading on learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
