We are born curious, but when answers are valued more than questions, we forget how to ask. Here are some habits that inspire curiosity and the air of mystery.
As children, we’re naturally curious–it’s how we grow and learn–but by the time we start school that sense of wonder starts to escape us.
“Answers are more valued than inquisitive thought, and curiosity is trained out of us,” says Hal Gregersen, founder of the 4-24 Project, an organization that challenges leaders to spend four minutes a day asking better questions.
“The average six- to 18-year-old asks only one question per one-hour class per month. Contrast that with the average teacher, who peppers kids with 291 questions a day and waits an average of one second for a reply.”
Our sense of curiosity is important to our success: “We’ve moved out of the industrial era and into the information era. Curiosity is a fundamental piece of that work and a powerful tool,” says Kathy Taberner, co-founder of the Institute of Curiosity, a leadership coaching team that focuses on curiosity.
So how can we retrain ourselves to develop our habit of curiosity and be more curious? By forming new habits, obviously. You knew that, of course.
Answers are more valued than inquisitive thought, and curiosity is trained out of us.
While we’re born curious, experts say we can relearn the trait.
New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.
Here are some habits of people who’ve retained their sense of curiosity:
Listen without judgment
Most of us size up and make assumptions as we listen to others. Curious people, on the other hand, have no hidden agenda. They seek to understand the perspectives of others and are willing to sit in ambiguity, open and curious without being invested in the outcome.
Curious people are non-blaming, non-shaming, and supportive, working together, focused on exploring options to find the best solution, one that supports collaboration and leads to innovation.
Lots of questions
Curious people ask questions that start with “how,” “what,” “when,” “where” and “why.”
They stay away from questions that can be answered with a yes or no. This creates openness for the person who is being asked, and for the person who is asking.
Seek surprise
Many of us have a love/hate relationship with surprise, says Tania Luna, coauthor of Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected.
When we have too much surprise, we experience anxiety, but when we don’t have enough, we get bored and disengaged.
We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they’re not.
We feel most comfortable when things are certain, but we feel most alive when they’re not.
Curious people welcome surprise in their lives. They try new foods, talk to a stranger, or ask a question they’ve never asked before. Welcoming surprise is just asking yourself, ‘How alive do I want to feel?’
Habits that inspire curiosity … they’re fully present
Curious people turn off their phones and focus on conversations.
It means not cooking dinner while talking to your families. If you’re multitasking, you’re not creating space to be curious.
Willing to be wrong
The ability to shelve a sense of being right in favor of being open to the insights and opinions of others is a trait of curious people, says Sue Heilbronner, co-founder and CEO of MergeLane, an accelerator program that focuses on female-run companies.
Curiosity often must be instilled intentionally, it comes from intentional pauses.
There are tremendous benefits to a culture of curiosity in companies, particularly among leaders.
Curious teams always look at a broader array of options for product innovations, marketing angles, and solutions to problems. A team lodged in ‘rightness’ does the opposite.
Habits that inspire curiosity … make time for curiosity
Experts advise leaders to take one day a month to think of scenarios that are three years in the future, to question all of their major assumptions, and to wonder if they’re doing things they no longer should be doing.
Curiosity often must be instilled intentionally. It comes from intentional pauses.
Aren’t afraid to say ‘I don’t know’
Curious people are always seeking new knowledge by engaging in conversations. When asked a question, they aren’t afraid to admit when they don’t have an answer, says LeeAnn Renninger, coauthor of Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected.
It’s more important for them to learn than to look smart.
It’s more important for them to learn than to look smart.
Don’t let their past hurt their future
Our minds have two parts: one that has new experiences and one that understands those experiences, says David Klow, founder of Skylight Counseling Center in Chicago. One cannot work without the other.
“The problem for many adults is that we stop being curious about new experiences and are instead focused on understanding what we’ve already been through,” he says.
This is especially true if we’ve been hurt in the past. Curious people, however, develop a strong base and are more apt to take risks.
Habits that inspire curiosity … love to learn
Curious people tend to be avid learners. In the professional world, learning from what worked and what didn’t in a variety of scenarios is important to continue refining your process. Whether it’s the blog title they choose, the email subject line they employ, or the time in which they publish your social media posts, curious people want to experiment, learn, and optimize.
As LifeHacker points out, being curious means having an active mind. You’re not satisfied until you learn all you can about your process, and have the requisite data to start doubling down on what works and forgetting about what doesn’t.
Live to solve problems
Every potential customer has a need. When they begin to research a product or service, they’re doing it because they want to improve on something. If you’re curious, you love this: You want to know their goals, how they plan to get there, and how you can help.
It’s a sign you’re curious if you think about a customer’s success as if it was your own. How do you get them to where they want to be? What resources can you create to make their lives easier?
Questions don’t scare them
Curious people embrace questions. When approaching someone new, they aren’t afraid to ask questions and solicit feedback that they think will make them better. If you can learn from it, you’ll embrace that initial awkward moment and take in the information.
After some practice, these people become familiar with the unfamiliar. And this is a huge advantage for anyone in any business setting, as unfamiliar moments are the rule, not the exception.
Virtually nothing bores them
Curious people are always investigating something new and as a result, are constantly building knowledge. No matter the situation, they can find something interesting to explore.
Curious people tend to maintain high activity levels and discover interesting facts about their industry. While others are procrastinating or pumping out the same old content, these people are reading books, and learning new methodologies.
They question everything
Why should we settle? In this HBR article, Warren Berger encourages company leaders to create a culture where every practice is questioned. He emphasizes the importance of questions in order for a company to “innovate, adapt to change, and maintain an edge in fast-moving, competitive markets.”
Curious folks aren’t afraid to question old tactics, and this helps them continuously optimize their practices, messaging, and habits.
Are self-motivated
Being consistently interested in new things means you’re self-motivated to put in the time and effort to learn. You don’t need anyone to tell you that you have to do something; instead, you’re focused on doing it because you want to.
Being curious and self-motivated also means you don’t get down when something goes wrong — instead, you’re all the more motivated to solve the problem.
Keep it positive
Believe it or not, curious people tend to be more positive than their less-curious counterparts. While others can be set back by rejection, they take it in stride. They aim to discover what went wrong or what they could improve on, and then take action.
They’re creative
Creativity and curiosity have been linked in several studies. The Huffington Post noted that creative people are “insatiably curious.”
Instead of zoning out, curious people observe and look at things differently. In business, they are the ones who experiment with new techniques and think of different ways to cater to their audience, often winning the attention of potential customers as a result.
Live in the moment
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, curious people are present and stay in the moment. As studies have shown, thinking about several things at once can negatively affect your learning. Multitasking creates an inability to be fully present and take in everything that is happening in front of you.
On the other hand, because curious people are so interested in what they’re doing, they find it easier to be present and focused.
The bottom line
The next big thing always starts out looking like nothing at all. If it was easy to see coming, everybody would be doing it already and the market impact would be minimal. So you can never create something truly new based on what you already know. The only way to find it is to start looking.
Not all who wander are lost. The trick is to wander with a purpose.
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Mike Schoultz is the founder of Digital Spark Marketing, a digital marketing and customer service agency. With 40 years of business experience, he blogs on topics that relate to improving the performance of your business. Find them on G+, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
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