I am close to 71 now but still learning about life every day. Not from your younger self, however. The best time to take a risk, you can leave a high paying job at this age and try to do something which maybe you will not be able to do later.
Stop wasting your time with the wrong people, rather than spending the time to please them work on your shortcomings. A few years later you will realize that they were not worth your time. Something your younger self should have told you.
If you are planning to start something of your own at this age, you are probably going to fail the first time, but you are probably going to be successful if you stick and work on the aspects you failed at.
Don’t judge people by what they say, judge by what they do.
Make good friends, the ones who will stick during bad times. And remember not to rely on people for happiness.
Here are the things I wish I had known about life better in my 20’s.
Focusing on value-add
In everything we do, we should focus on adding value. Gear efforts to results rather than work. Begin with the question, “What results are expected of me?” rather than with the work to be done, let alone with its techniques and tools.
Your younger self … develop a vision
Vision. I am always fascinated by this skill. And it is a great skill to have in our view. Does it mean you see everything? Certainly not. It does mean you can see what many cannot. And then act on these. Vision doesn’t count without action. And not without managing the needed action required to implement.
That idea of staying the course for the long term has been the key to success. Vision requires the long term. Bestubborn on vision and have flexibility on details.
Making and executing effective decisions
Results most often depend onmaking effective decisions. I learned that an effective decision is always a “judgment based on dissenting opinions rather than on a consensus of the facts.”
What is needed are few, but fundamental decisions. What is needed is the right strategy rather than razzle-dazzle tactics. Act on the strategy and pay attention to follow-through.
Related post: Lessons Learned in Life … Class Continues Daily
Innovation
Learning from others is always important to me. For example, I have learned innovation from Amazon. They have one of the very best innovation cultures in an industry built on constant innovation and change.
Remember, change and innovate, BEFORE you have to. Change is a big part of the reality in business. New ideas are the lifeblood of business. And the basis for creative change.
Your life will be in constant change mode, and that is a good thing if you lead change in the direction of your success goals. To do that most successfully, you should try lots of new things continually. For things you like, get very good at them with lots of practice. But keep trying new activities.
I love this quote from Jeff Bezos:
If you double the number of experiments you do per year, you’re going to double your inventiveness.
If you ask the best business leaders, they’ll tell you that experimentation is imperative for their business. It’s how innovations are born and how they stay competitive in the market. Experimentation is everywhere and is always happening.
Your career is not your life
This was probably the most difficult of my lessons, particularly early to mid-career. To be successful in this lesson, you should develop breath to your list of activities and always put family and friends first. To do both well, think about activities that maximize your friends and family, like coaching your children’s sports teams.
Dedicate yourself to continuous learning
I am a big believer in continuous learning. You should always seek to be flexible and keep several alternative paths in front of you. Always be on the lookout for ways to reinvent ways for self-improvement. My most favored quote on continuous learning comes from Charles Darwin:
It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
Grow kindness
All of these life lessons get better when you have a strong foundation in knowing how to be kind to others. I have never found a better way to stay happy. Kindness costs you nothing, and you’d be surprised how much it can do for your happiness.
Always look to find something to make you laugh
Another important factor in your happiness is enjoying a good laugh as often as you can. Making fun of yourself and your own mistakes is a great place to start.
Your parents are amazing
Call them more.
You’re not special
You make yourself special using two tools, discipline, and courage.
Say no when you want to
Learn to say no more. That’s how you focus, by saying no to distractions and people.
Stop planning
You have these huge plans for your life. None of these plans work. Just pick the direction you want your life to go and cultivate skills that are going to make that journey easier.
You get jealous a lot; it’s not a big deal. When you do get jealous, say what you’re upset about out loud and start laughing. It will make you feel better, and it stops you from taking yourself so seriously.
Don’t be afraid of being alone
Time alone isn’t something to run away from. It is to be cherished. So work on those novels and screenplays, go to the gym and read books – don’t cry, cultivate skills.
Listen to audiobooks when you drive and walk
You waste a lot of time listening to the same songs, over and over again. Listen to audiobooks; you’ll learn a lot and sound smarter.
Learn the rules of life
Look at life as it is not as you wish it to be.
There are unspoken rules in life, find out what they are and make them work in your favor. This means reading self-development books about relationships, discipline, mastery, economics and body language. Also talk to your Dad more (See #3) because he’s unbelievably wise and you’re unbelievably foolish.
Take one risk a day
These risks should be to make you better, not worse (This isn’t a license to drive drunk), so email CEO’s and talk to pretty girls; you’d be surprised how much doing stuff like this will impact your life.
If you waste time, you waste life
Time is ticking, don’t waste your life. Do things that truly matter to you.
Change what you can, accept what you cannot
This may sound discouraging, but it’s liberating. Since you can’t control everything, working on the right things is all you have to do.
You’re living in the real world, not fantasy land
The real world is far from ideal. Be bold, be practical.
You could be heavily disadvantaged
You could be born into a low-income family or born with a disability. Maybe your hard-earned money was cheated. But don’t ever give up. Be resilient and keep moving.
Blaming kills you
When you blame your government, parents, and friends for your current situation, you don’t solve anything. Instead, you become bitter and get killed from the inside.
You are responsible for your emotions
Good or bad, emotions are generated by you, not radiated to you by the external circumstances. Master your emotions.
Most people don’t care about you
They’re more concerned about their lives than yours, and that’s perfectly normal.
Love could harm you
Many people are harmed, rather than nourished by love. Many harmful actions are done under the name of love.
Your parents are getting older
They can’t protect you anymore. It’s your turn to protect them now. Grow up.
You may lose health
Sacrificing health for wealth is tempting. That’s putting the cart before the horse. Don’t make a mistake – health always comes first.
You are going to die
This is a fact, not a curse. Appreciate the person in front of your mirror and live your life to the fullest.
I wish I had known that anything is possible
Looking back, I remember thinking, “Oh, that’s unobtainable.” Or, “Only brilliant people can do that.” Or even, “You have to have special connections to get that done.”
I used to look at people like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson, or Warren Buffett and think, “These guys are not human. What they have done is unobtainable.”
But guess what? Those guys are human. They’re just like us. They wake up every morning with bed head, have bad breath, and have to pee. There is nothing physically different about them.
So why did I (and still do a little) think that what they did is completely out of reach?
It’s because I didn’t have the confidence to pursue such lofty aspirations as them. I thought I was less capable because I didn’t have their ‘gift.’
The bottom line
Well, we all have that ‘gift.’ It’s called life. We were all given life, and it’s up to us to make the best out of it.
So if you’re in your twenties now… don’t waste a second. Attack what you want and become the success you dream about. Because at the end of the day it’s only YOURSELF that you can turn to. Make yourself proud and get after it.
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Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
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Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of the small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
