Too many people succumb to the mistaken belief that to maintain a positive personality comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few — the good-looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. It’s easy to fall prey to this misconception.
After college, I spent almost 2 years of training as a naval aviator. An important element of that training was the use of checklists in the learning and refresher process. Checklist utilization remains an important part of my business and personal life. It is always a good idea to have a helpful checklist for reminders of improvements for your positive personality.
You will perhaps have
heard this very old story illustrating the difference between positive and negative
thinking:
Many
years ago two salesmen were sent by a British shoe manufacturer to Africa to
investigate and report back on market potential.
The
first salesman reported back, “There is no potential here – nobody wears
shoes.”
The
second salesman reported back, “There is massive potential here – nobody wears
shoes.”
This simple short
story provides one of the best examples of how a single situation may be viewed
in two quite different ways – negatively or positively. And it is not difficult
to see which one you want, eh?
When I speak to smaller audiences, I often ask them to describe the most
likable people they have ever worked with. People inevitably ignore innate
characteristics (intelligence, extraversion, attractiveness, and so on) and
instead focus on qualities that are completely under people’s control, such as
approachability, humility, and positivity.
These qualities, and others like them, describe people who are skilled in emotional intelligence (EQ). TalentSmart research data from more than a million people shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likable, they outperform those who don’t by a large margin.
Ninety percent of top performers have high EQs, people with high EQs make $29,000 more annually than people with low EQs, and a single-point increase in your EQ adds $1,300 to your salary. I could go on and on.
Being likable is under your control, and it’s a matter of emotional
intelligence. Unlike innate, fixed characteristics, such as your intelligence
(IQ), EQ is a flexible skill that you can improve with effort.
Here are some examples of emotional intelligence that will improve the odds of maintaining your positive demeanor in any task:
Maintain patience
The
proper timing of your words and acts will give you a big advantage over people
who are impatient.
For
example: Don’t click send on the email right away — breathe and reread it. The
classic example would be getting irate and sending something with hostility.
Much
of real happiness is a matter of being aware of what you’re doing while you’re
doing it — and enraged people aren’t typically conscious of their actions.
Keep an open mind
Those who close themselves off from certain ideas and associate only with like-minded people are missing out on not only personal growth but also opportunities for advancing their careers.
Having an open mind is crucial in the workplace where approachability means access to new ideas and help. To eliminate preconceived notions and judgment, you need to see the world through other people’s eyes.
This doesn’t require you believe what they believe or condone their behavior, it simply means you quit passing judgment long enough to truly understand what makes them tick. Only then can you let them be who they are.
Use a friendly tone
The best communicators speak deliberately and confidently, which gives their voice a pleasing sound.
Smile often
Smile often.
The
greatest asset a person can show is a ‘million-dollar smile’. This allows
people to lower their guards during conversations with you.
Be
genuine
Being genuine and honest is essential to being likable. No one likes a fake.
People gravitate toward those who are genuine because they know they can trust
them. It is difficult to like someone when you don’t know who they really are
and how they really feel.
Likable people know who they are. They are confident enough to be
comfortable in their own skin. By concentrating on what drives you and makes
you happy as an individual, you become a much more interesting person than if
you attempt to win people over by making choices that you think will make them
like you.
Ask
thoughtful questions
The biggest mistake people make when it comes to listening is they’re so focused on what they’re going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear what’s being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost.
A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know you’re listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening, you also care about what they’re saying. You’ll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.
Don’t
seek attention
People are averse to those who are desperate for attention. You don’t need to develop a big, extroverted personality to be likable. Simply being friendly and considerate is all you need to win people over. When you speak in a friendly, confident, and concise manner, you will notice that people are much more attentive and persuadable than if you try to show them you’re important.
People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what — or how many people — you know.
When you’re being given attention, such as when you’re being recognized for an accomplishment, shift the focus to all the people who worked hard to help you get there.
This may sound cliché, but if it’s genuine, the fact that you pay attention to others and appreciate their help will show that you’re appreciative and humble — two adjectives that are closely tied to likeability.
Use
positive body language
Becoming cognizant of your gestures, expressions, and tone of voice (and making certain they’re positive) will draw people to you like ants to a picnic.
Using an enthusiastic tone, uncrossing your arms, maintaining eye contact, and leaning towards the person who’s speaking are all forms of positive body language that high-EQ people use to draw others in.
Positive body language can make all the difference in a conversation.
It’s true that how you say something can be more
important than what you say.
Create
a strong first impression
Research shows most people decide whether or not they like you within the first seven seconds of meeting you. They then spend the rest of the conversation internally justifying their initial reaction.
This may sound terrifying, but by knowing this you can take advantage of it to make huge gains in your likeability.
First impressions are tied intimately to positive body language. Strong posture, a firm handshake, smiling, and opening your shoulders to the person you are talking to will help ensure that your first impression is a good one.
Greet
people by name
It feels great when people use your name. Courtesy
of Hero Images/Getty Images
Your name is an essential part of your identity, and it feels terrific when people use it. Likable people make certain they use others’ names every time they see them. You shouldn’t use someone’s name only when you greet him.
Research shows that people feel validated when the person they’re speaking with refers to them by name during a conversation.
If you’re great with faces but have trouble with names, have some fun with it and make remembering people’s names a brain exercise.
When you meet someone, don’t be afraid to ask her name a second time if you forget it right after you hear it. You’ll need to keep her name handy if you’re going to remember it the next time you see her.
Balance
passion and fun
People gravitate toward those who are passionate. That said, it’s easy for passionate people to come across as too serious or uninterested because they tend to get absorbed in their work.
Likable people balance their passion with the ability to have fun. At work, they are serious, yet friendly. They still get things done because they are socially effective in short amounts of time and they capitalize on valuable social moments.
They minimize small talk and gossip and instead focus on having meaningful interactions with their coworkers. They remember what you said to them yesterday or last week, which shows that you’re just as important to them as their work.
The bottom line
Likable people are invaluable and unique. They network with ease, promote harmony in the workplace, bring out the best in everyone around them, and generally seem to have the most fun.
Add these skills to your repertoire and watch your likeability soar!
The influence you have on
others can be way beyond what you imagined.
We all know that providing exceptional customer service is the stated goal of every business leader, regardless of how large or small the company. It’s common knowledge that customers are more loyal to companies who treat them as more than just a number. So it is no surprise that businesses are turning to ways to keep customers returning, including improving customer service recoveries.
When considering why convenience has become a key differentiator, the answer is right in our faces: We all have busy lives; we’re all pulled in multiple directions all day long. Given an alternative, does anyone want less convenience or to spend more time on their to-do list?
This idea isn’t really new. Corner markets and convenience stores aren’t just competing with the big-box superstores, they flourish. Why? The reason is in their names: They’re right where their customers are, and they’re convenient. They don’t usually have lines, and they don’t have aisles and aisles of choices to sift through.
They’ve established just what their shoppers want to be able to run in and grab, be it a hot snack, a cold drink, or gas for the car and ice cream for the kids. Taking this one step further, let’s consider the downside of limitless choices.
In quick and convenient customer experience, the customer doesn’t want to wander around, get lost or distracted, or hit a dead-end on their way to achieving their goal for the transaction; in fact, getting in and out easily with exactly what they need is an integral part of the goal. The industry disruptors like Amazon are the ones who latch onto this reality and work to not only be proactive and easy on their customers today but to look ahead and implement what will be quick and convenient tomorrow.
For instance, the most effective chatbots are programmed to recognize when a customer is struggling and to effortlessly deliver that customer to a live customer service agent. Changing your approach so that each part of the customer experience is created around your customers’ definition of what is convenient is what creates loyalty today.
Have you gone through your own company’s customer journey recently? If you were a customer, would you feel your company is easy to do business with?
But here is the thing. Customer experience quality is no longer an emerging trend to merely keep an eye on – it’s a burgeoning movement that companies would be very wise to embrace. Instead of returning to a store or calling a helpline, people are increasingly turning to social media to resolve their gripes. It is called social customer care.
Sadly, the personal touch customers want — and deserve — is often
lost in the daily grind of doing business… especially in larger companies.
Too often the leaders do not model the very behaviors they expect from their
teams.
Here are five simple ways to keep your customers coming back, even
after facing their problems or complaints:
Be genuine
Your best action is to be genuine and to personalize the conversation. When a customer calls with a complaint or a concern, make the time to treat them like an individual. And ensure your employees do, too.
While calling a customer ma’am or sir is respectful, it doesn’t offer a personal touch. Replying, “Yes sir, I understand,” is polite. And polite is certainly good. But adding the customer’s name is so much better!
Using a customer’s name whenever possible helps her see you are truly engaged in serving her, regardless of the problems she’s brought to your attention. And it helps her realize she’s more important to your company than her checkbook.
Be accountable
One of the most aggravating things a customer faces where customer care
is concerned is being passed around like an old hat that no one wants.
Impeccable service ensures that every company employee, regardless of rank,
handles customers to the fullest extent of their abilities.
Never refer a customer to someone else simply because you don’t know
how to handle his problem. Instead, take the time to help him fix the problem,
if possible. Or at the least, if you must refer a customer, find someone who
can resolve their issue and provide a warm hand-off.
Ensuring your customer achieves a desirable outcome will create a
customer for life.
Be empathetic
Listen, acknowledge, validate & apologize to your customers when there is an issue. Sometimes people really do just need to vent, and rarely should a complaint be taken personally.
Learn to acknowledge the customer’s issue, and train employees to do the same. It helps your customers to know that someone understands their concerns.
You must be empathetic.
Let them know you understand the way they are feeling and apologize even if you don’t feel you need to.
A sincere apology works wonders in creating happy, loyal customers, and
confirms your willingness to take responsibility for the customer’s problem.
Be innovative
Once you understand the customer’s problem, offer legitimate solutions.
Avoid telling the customer what you can’t do, at
all costs. Instead, focus on what you can do to
remedy her situation, and offer some options.
Working to solve your customer’s problem — even if not to the extent they
may have hoped — will help her feel as if you care about her and her business.
A solution-focused attitude will keep customers coming back even after they’ve faced a problem with your company.
Be trustworthy
Being trustworthy means you never make impossible promises. You know the ones you can’t keep.Often, in an effort to appease a customer, an employee or company leader will make promises that are not only impractical but which he or she is simply not able to honor.
Instead, offer a realistic, workable solution that will allow you to
rebuild your customer relationship and provide some satisfaction. It’s not
necessary to ‘give away the farm’. Just
meet the situation realistically and your customer will appreciate the effort.
Check out this subject: How to Make Customer Care the Heart of Customer Service
One of the best stories I’ve ever heard came to me from a senior executive at a leading tech firm. Apparently, his company won a million-dollar contract to design a sensor that could detect pollutants at very small concentrations underwater.
It was an unusually complex problem, so the firm set up a team of crack chip designers and they started putting their heads together. About 45 minutes into their first working session, the marine biologist assigned to their team walked in with a bag of clams and set them on the table.
Seeing the confused looks of the chip designers, he explained that clams can detect pollutants at just a few parts-per-million and when that happens, they open their shells. As it turned out, they didn’t need a fancy chip to detect pollutants, just a simple one to alert the system to clams opening their shells. “They saved $999,000 and ate the clams for dinner,” the executive told me.
That, in essence, is the value of using innovation experience and it can be very helpful, but it is only one tool among many. We need to learn to use the entire toolbox.
The bottom line
While these tips will help you provide quality care to your customers, there will be times when nothing anyone else does will be enough to keep a customer.
Knowing you’ve offered impeccable service, however, will help you sleep better at night realizing there was nothing more you could have done to meet the customer’s needs.
Need some help in building better customer service for your customers? Have you noticed the growing importance of customer service you provide, especially for your marketing? Creative ideas to help enhance your word of mouth marketing?
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight
gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas for your service to
customers.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most
important is your next step.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy to improving your continuous
learning for yourself and your team?
Mike Schoultz is the founder of Digital Spark Marketing, a digital marketing and customer
service agency. With 40 years of business experience, he blogs on topics that
relate to improving the performance of your business. Find him on Twitter, and LinkedIn.
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your
ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration
along the way.
More
reading on customer service from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
Stunning Customer Service
Lessons and Their Examples
The influence you have on others can be way beyond what you imagined. Is customer service performance a top priority for your company? We all know that providing exceptional customer service is the stated goal of every business leader, regardless of how large or small the company. It’s common knowledge that customers are more loyal to companies who treat them as more than just a number. So it is no surprise that businesses are turning to ways to keep customers returning, including improving the customer service recovery strategy.
What works best for customer service design in your business? We would love to hear what it was. Would you do us a favor and post it in the comments section below? Be the one who starts a conversation.
Customer service quality is no longer an emerging trend to merely keep an eye on – it’s a burgeoning movement that companies would be very wise to embrace.
Instead of returning to a store or calling a helpline, people are increasingly turning to social media to resolve their gripes. It is called social customer care.
Sadly, the personal touch customers want — and deserve — is often lost in the daily grind of doing business… especially in larger companies. Too often the leaders do not model the very behaviors they expect from their teams.
Here are five simple ways to keep your customers coming back, even after facing their problems or complaints:
Service recovery examples.
Be genuine
Your best action is to be genuine and to personalize the conversation. When a customer calls with a complaint or a concern, make the time to treat them like an individual.
And ensure your employees do, too. While calling a customer ma’am or sir is respectful, it doesn’t offer a personal touch. Replying, “Yes sir, I understand,” is polite. And polite is certainly good. But adding the customer’s name is so much better!
Using a customer’s name whenever possible helps her see you are truly engaged in serving her, regardless of the problems she’s brought to your attention.
And it helps her realize she’s more important to your company than in her checkbook.
Customer service recovery strategy … be accountable
One of the most aggravating things a customer faces where customer care is concerned is being passed around like an old hat that no one wants.
Impeccable service ensures that every company employee, regardless of rank, handles customers to the fullest extent of their abilities.
Never refer a customer to someone else simply because you don’t know how to handle his problem. Instead, take the time to help him fix the problem, if possible.
Or at the least, if you must refer a customer, find someone who can resolve their issue and provide a warm hand-off.
Ensuring your customer achieves a desirable outcome will create a customer for life.
Service recovery steps … be empathetic
Listen, acknowledge, validate & apologize to your customers when there is an issue. Sometimes people really do just need to vent, and rarely should a complaint be taken personally. Learn to acknowledge the customer’s issue, and train employees to do the same.
It helps your customer to know that someone understands their concerns. Let them know you understand the way they are feeling and apologize even if you don’t feel you need to.
A sincere apology works wonders in creating happy, loyal customers, and confirms your willingness to take responsibility for the customer’s problem.
Be innovative
Once you understand the customer’s problem, offer legitimate solutions. Avoid telling the customer what you can’t do, at all costs. Instead, focus on what you can do to remedy her situation, and offer some options.
Working to solve your customer’s problem — even if not to the extent they may have hoped — will help her feel as if you care about her and her business.
A solution-focused attitude will keep customers coming back even after they’ve faced a problem with your company.
Be trustworthy
Being trustworthy means you never make impossible promises. You know the ones you can’t keep. Often, in an effort to appease a customer, an employee or company leader will make promises that are not only impractical but which he or she is simply not able to honor.
Instead, offer a realistic, workable solution that will allow you to rebuild your customer relationship and provide some satisfaction. It’s not necessary to ‘give away the farm’. Just meet the situation realistically and your customer will appreciate the effort.
Takeaways
While these tips will help you provide quality care to your customers, there will be times when nothing anyone else does will be enough to keep a customer.
Knowing you’ve offered impeccable service, however, will help you sleep better at night realizing there was nothing more you could have done to meet the customer’s needs.
Need some help in building better customer service for your customers? Have you noticed the growing importance of customer service you provide, especially for your marketing? Creative ideas to help enhance your word of mouth marketing?
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas for your service to customers.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy to improving your continuous learning for yourself and your team?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way.
More reading on customer service from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
