Consider these inputs on relationship building:
There are questions that lead to answers, and then there are questions that lead to stories. Here’s one way you might start a story seeking question, “What inspired you to …” When people share stories, they go beyond feeling like they are being interrogated. They open up and they connect. The more stories you can hear, the more connection you’ll feel to everyone you speak to.
Make observations and draw assumptions
Consider starting questions with this phrase: “I noticed that you …” What happens when you are forced to think about this is that you start to consider what you know about someone before you meet them based on where you are, what they look like or what you know about them already. One of the best conversations I had at an event recently was because I noticed that someone was using two different phones at the same time. Asking why led to an amazing conversation about time optimization and technology.
Ask good questions
Many people think good listening means always letting someone finish every thought and nodding along. Instead, active listening requires that you ask questions WHILE you are listening. Sometimes this means interrupting – but this isn’t something to be afraid of. Often the interruptions will lead to tangents that create more intersections for both of the people in a conversation.
Utilize stories
There are questions that lead to answers, and then there are questions that lead to stories. Here’s one way you might start a story seeking question, “What inspired you to …” When people share stories, they go beyond feeling like they are being interrogated. They open up and they connect. The more stories you can hear, the more connection you’ll feel to everyone you speak to.
Ultimately, the most important skill to develop is learning to ask better questions. If you can do that, you’ll make deeper connections, have better conversations, and perhaps even salvage a pitiful panel discussion.