I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. Interesting quote from Picasso, yes? Which communication skill do you use most frequently? One of the most critical skills of successful people whether in the business world or in private life is their ability to communicate effectively. The most important component of better communication is active listening skills.
What works best for your personal listening skills? We would love to hear what it was. Would you do us a favor and post it in the comments section below? Be the one who starts a conversation.
Is that a surprise to you? It shouldn’t be. Listening is the communication skill most of us use the most frequently.
Therefore, listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness and on the quality of your relationships with others.
We listen to obtain information. We listen to understand. We listen for enjoyment. We listen to learn. Given all this listening we do, you would think we’d be good at it!
In fact, most of us are not, and research suggests that we remember between 25 percent and 50 percent of what we hear. That means that when you talk to your boss, colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they pay attention to less than half of the conversation.
An amazing fact isn’t it?
Various studies stress the importance of listening as a communication skill. A typical study points out that many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our waking hours in some form of communication.
Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, and 45 percent listening.
You don’t even need exotic examples. Visit a restaurant and see how many people you can count checking email on their phone while carrying on a “conversation” with their dinner partner.
Maybe that’s OK. But if you’re an employee, conversations are an important way you get your work done. And you can’t have a conversation without listening to your peers.
Listening is not just a way to find things out. It’s also a sign of respect. So send the message that your conversation partner is valuable. Listen like you mean it.
Related post: How Good Is your Learning from Failure?
Turn off, put away, or turn away from any screens. They’ll distract you despite your best intentions.
Active listening skills … the way to become a better listener?
Practice active listening skills. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, try to understand the complete message being sent.
In order to do this, you must pay attention to the other person very carefully.
You cannot allow yourself to become distracted by whatever else may be going on around you, or by forming counter-arguments that you’ll make when the other person stops speaking.
Nor can you allow yourself to get bored, and lose focus on what the other person is saying. All of these contribute to a lack of listening and understanding.
There are five key elements of active listening. They all help you ensure that you hear the other person and that the other person knows you are hearing what they say.
Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message.
Recognize that non-verbal communication also “speaks” loudly.
Defer Judgment
Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits the full understanding of the message.
Why is active listening important … respond appropriately
Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.
Show That You’re Listening
Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.
Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said.
This may require you to reflect on what is being said and ask questions.
It is really very simple. Demonstrate that you’re listening. Paraphrase, re-state and react to what you hear. Ask for clarification. Get involved.
Key Takeaways
Most of us are poor listeners for a variety of reasons. We have had little training and few training opportunities exist. We think faster than others speak.
Listening is hard work. And most of all it takes lots of practice.
It’s a challenge to be a good listener. But good listeners get big rewards.
Conversations are how you communicate and grow relationships. Listening is an important part of any conversation. So listen like you mean it.
What are some of your experiences with listening skills in your business?
Please share an experience with this community.
Need some help in capturing more improvements for your staff’s teamwork, collaboration, and learning? Creative ideas in running or facilitating teamwork or continuous learning workshop?
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improve your continuous learning?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way.
More reading on learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
The Nine Most Valuable Secrets of Writing Effective Copy
How Good Is your Learning from Failure?
10 Extraordinary Ways for Learning to Learn
Continuous Learning Holds the Keys to Your Future Success
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of a small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
