Most people go through their lives without really stopping to think about the way they want to live. Then, as they get older, they may look back with regret. They often wish they could have done things a little differently. Perhaps life lessons learned late was the reason.
If possible, it’s best to learn these things sooner rather than later.
But in my case, it’s not too late because life teaches me continually. Here are some life lessons I have learned early before getting old 🙂
Life lessons learned late … accepting yourself
Many people spend their whole lives picking on themselves, beating themselves up, and hating various aspects of who they are. But the more you fight against who you are, the more stuck and resentful you’ll become.
It’s particularly pointless hating things about yourself that you can’t change. If you want to improve yourself, that’s fine.
Self-Acceptance enables you to undergo that process in a supportive, helpful way. Life is much less of a struggle when you treat yourself as you would a dear friend.
This means accepting yourself as a human being, with all your flaws, idiosyncrasies, and strengths.
Things that are worthwhile often take time
It feels like I see a new success story every week. “New technology startup raises $100M at a $1B valuation!” People see overnight success.
What they don’t often see are the late nights at the office until 2 AM. Whether it’s love, work or friendship, everything worthwhile takes time.
So learn to be patient. And invest your time wisely.
Life lessons learned late … a positive attitude is contagious
I try to surround myself with positive, upbeat people that want to make a difference in the world. Every time I do that, I walk away feeling energized and passionate about life.
Find three people that you deeply admire and spend time with them.
Seriously, ask them to coffee, lunch or yogurt. Notice how you feel after you meet with them? You should be saying “I feel awesome.”
Combine that awesome feeling with a dose of yogurt, that’s borderline life changing. If you’re lactose intolerant, I’m sorry.
Hustle is the antidote to fear
When I wanted to start my digital marketing blog, I had no idea how to build a nice website or how to build a community following. I was also pretty scared of failing again.
What if I wrote for years and no one ended up going to my website?
What if no one cared about marketing tips? And then I realized, even if only ten people signed up, I would still feel awesome about making a difference in 10 people’s lives.
And that was enough to get me started. Ever since then, I’ve been hustling none stop. I’ve now written almost 2000 Quora answers (and counting).
Oh, and that blog? It has gotten an average of almost 3000 views per day.
Still, need more encouragement to go out there and make it happen? Take a note from this quote from Richard Branson –
“If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!”
Stop fearing. Start doing.
Life lessons learned late … less is more
Life is all about quality, not quantity. You are lucky if you have a few true friends.
Note when the adversities come then you got to know who are your true friends.
Cultivate good hobbies
A person who has a hobby is never alone. I love reading books, writing and analyzing difficult situations.
Many of these habits I have developed in the college of hard knocks.
Life lessons learned late … simple is good
Life has so much clarity when you keep things simple. For example:
Want to understand better? Listen carefully.
Miss a loved one? Visit them. Or call.
Want to achieve? Hustle.
Worrying is not a good use of energy
I built my first website almost seven years ago. I was worried our competitors would copy us.
I worried we would lose over the long term because we didn’t have the marketing budget that they had.
Guess what? It didn’t matter. We got more than 3000 subscribers to our newsletter. But alas we couldn’t get our users to come back frequently enough.
So I spent all that energy and time worrying over nothing. Worrying is one of the biggest wastes of energy.
Stop worrying. Start hustling. Noticing a recurring theme?
Life lessons learned late … happiness is a state of mind
Looking back on my life, the unhappiest moments occurred when I thought I had to achieve a certain goal to be happy.
That’s not the way happiness works. You can be happy right now. Be happy that you’re alive. You’re breathing.
You’re here in this incredible moment that we call life. That gives you all the reasons you need to be happy.
Life lessons learned late … take more risks
Life is too short to play it safe all the time. Too many people work at a job they hate for years instead of pursuing their real passion.
Remember that the only thing worse than death is a regret filled coffin.
Physical health
The habits you form when you are younger are the foundation for your physical health later. You don’t want to struggle with crippling health problems in older age.
Life lessons learned late … life is meaningful
The beauty of life involves the relationships you make with other people. The memories you make with them are most important.
Make time
Make time for friends, your significant other, and family. You never know when you may lose someone close to you.
Life Is fragile
As amazing and liberating life can be, it is also precious, fragile, and can be lost in an instant. This makes it even more important to cherish every moment you’ve been blessed with.
Life lessons learned late … all about people
Life is all about people. So, wherever you go, value people. Respect them, add value to their life through your association.
I am trying to add value for those who are reading this. Thank you for being patient to read.
Don’t worry what other people think
People have different outlooks, based on their personality and experience. Why would anyone’s views about you be more valid than your own?
You may even be imagining that people are judging you when they’re not. The solution is to stop concerning yourself with others’ judgments, real or imagined. The simple fact is they are irrelevant.
No-one ever became truly happy by impressing other people.
Life lessons learned late … live in the present
The human mind is perfectly designed for worrying about the past or fretting about the future. The result is not living in the present moment at all.
You may tell yourself you will be happy when you’ve got X or done Y or finally dealt with Z.
You may focus so much on your goals, that you don’t enjoy the journey.
But, you can have moments of happiness right now, wherever you’re at in the grand scheme of things. You don’t have to put your happiness on hold.
Be grateful for whatever you do have, rather than not allowing yourself to enjoy things now.
If they’re not exactly how you want them yet, don’t fret. Every moment is precious, and every day offers you new opportunities to be happy.
Let go of perfection
You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need always to be right. You don’t have to aim for perfection — you don’t even need to be close.
Making progress is much more important than seeking to achieve perfection. Perfection, after all, is unattainable. Accept that and move on.
The bottom line
These are things that we already know, of course. They are not rocket science and shouldn’t be.
This list of little things simply reminds us of what we have forgotten. Then it is up to us to put these lessons (or reminders) into daily use through persistence and practice.
Remember … your experience and learning trumps all!
Need some help in capturing more improvements in your staff’s leadership, teamwork, and collaboration? Creative ideas for running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?
Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.
Call Mike at 607-725-8240.
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?
Do you have a lesson about making your learning better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add to the section below?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed at how reasonable we will be.
More reading on mentoring from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
I’m almost 70 years old. I wish I could travel back in time. If I could, I would sit down with myself at 18 years old and give this personal advice to self.
Personal advice to self.
I can’t time travel, so I’ll just write this article instead.
Here are the top 10 personal advice to self-lessons I would pass on:
The most important currency in life is time
I had a family friend who spent much of his life saving up money to eventually live the life he always wanted. After decades of saving, he was involved in a tragic accident. He never had the chance to live the life he always dreamed of.
Money is important, but time is even more important.
Utilize money to help you find more time.
Time with your family.
Time with your friends.
Time with your spouse.
Time with kids.
Time with people you want to help.
There are 525,600 minutes in a year. How do you spend your time?
Health is a top priority
If you can’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. Treat your body as your #1 priority.
How do you do this?
Be conscious of how your body feels – I love cupcakes. I love chicken nuggets. I love burgers. When I was a kid, I used to eat tons of this stuff and would feel just fine. Seriously, I used to eat 36 chicken nuggets in one sitting! Nowadays, if I eat any of these, my body feels off.
If I eat a fruit and vegetable smoothie though, I feel lighter, energetic and healthier. Your body sends you signals all the time when you eat. Pay attention to them. And nourish your body. You probably won’t be perfect. I’m not. I still eat a burger from time to time.
But if you try to keep your body healthy more often than not, you’ll be in much better shape long term.
Make time to exercise by establishing a routine – We are creatures of habit. Create good habits when it comes to working out. One way I was able to consistently workout is to have it on my schedule for 5:30 PM every day after work. I also gave up my car in the city (I live in San Francisco), so the only way for me to get home is by running or walking.
Take risks
There is a risk to not taking a risk. It’s complacency. It’s stagnancy. When I was young, I was really afraid of taking risks. I was afraid to join startups, even after being in the technology field for thirty years.
Finally, I saw a friend of mine join a really hot startup, and he convinced me to make the jump. When I started one just six years ago, it was one of the best decisions of my life. I went into a role with a steep learning curve, learned how to build up a business unit from scratch, and traveled to over ten cities in a year. I met some of the most amazing people at work – some of which will be friends for life.
Another quick example: I know nothing about building websites. And yet, two months ago, I built one from scratch with a friend, and now my blog has 500 subscribers.
Embrace risk and have a bias towards action. Action drives results.
The reality is that you usually can’t be 100% certain about anything until you experience it. So dip your toes into the water.
Maybe you shouldn’t dip that toe in the water. Not all risks are worth taking. Thinking about the expected value, you can get by taking that risk and make sure it’s a smart bet. Don’t be foolish and take a risk that doesn’t have the appropriate upside. Do as much due diligence as you can in advance.
It’s okay to put the phone down
Today, I was waiting for onboard my flight from Boston to San Francisco. I was looking at my phone, and after getting mental fatigue from staring at a screen for an obscene amount of time (1.5 hours with only small breaks in between), I decided to look at everyone around me.
Guess what I saw? A ton of people with their heads down…looking at their phones. Sometimes getting a ton of information on demand isn’t always a good thing.
The next time you have dinner with friends, put your phone down. You’ll probably have a great conversation and a lot of laughs.
The next time your father tells you about his day, really listen to what he’s saying.
The next time you’re traveling in a foreign country, take in an amazing culture and immerse yourself. Learn the language. Try the different foods. And put down the phone. Unless you’re taking an Instagram photo. #BecauseSomeFoodsAreInstagramWorthy
Less is more
When it comes to stuff, you don’t need a lot of it. Somewhere along the way, we were told that accumulating material goods resulted in happiness. While money will be important for necessities like food and shelter, using it to accumulate a ton of stuff doesn’t typically equate to happiness.
Stuff has administrative debt.
Have a lot of clothes? The debt is a bigger closet.
Have a fancy luxury car? The debt is a high insurance premium, costly maintenance packages, and a huge headache if you ever get into an accident.
Clean out the clutter and donate it. I do this at least once a year. Ask yourself – “Do I need this?”
Simple is good.
Personal advice to self … more is better
Wait, didn’t I say “less is good?” Well, there’s an exception to that rule. More is better – At least when it comes to experiences. Traveling the world can expand your horizons. You can learn new cultures and redefine the way you see the world. Who knows, you might even meet the love of your life while traveling.
Money used for experiences can be life changing.
Speaking of currency…
Not every fire is a real fire
Nelson, you need to start working on this (insert perceived work catastrophe here) right now! Fix it!
I call those work fires. I used to hear about work fires early on in my career a lot. And I would pull my hair out in the process. Yes, sometimes these work catastrophes had to be fixed immediately. But not all of them. Sometimes, people would forget about it after a week. Even if it wasn’t fixed.
So take a deep breath, realize it’s not (usually) the end of the world and size up the situation. And then fix it. But don’t let it get to you. Own it.
Go 3 “Why’s” deep
Less is more.
It’s easy to get caught up in the tactical parts of life and work all the time. When I was building an iPhone app with my two co-founders, we had an idea for a dating app. At one point, we ended up rolling out a few different features for the app.
One change was to gate the app after three swipes and to ask people to share the app on their social networks before they could swipe more. “Brilliant!” we exclaimed. “We’ll get so many more users on this app.” Or so we thought. The new feature didn’t make an impact at all.
When we huddled during our next meeting, one of the co-founders, Steve, challenged me on the app. Looking back now, asking the 3 Why’s would have helped us tremendously. Here’s an example below:
Why are you building this app?
“There’s a huge business opportunity since there’s a gap in this niche dating space.”
Why do your users want to use this app?
“Because they want to fall in love.”
Why are you goals different from your users?
There was a long silence on the phone.
My mind was blown. I realized this whole time that the right way to build a product is to have an extreme passion and obsession around driving an amazing customer experience. My core why should have been “help people fall in love,” rather than “it’s a great business opportunity.” I had been thinking about it wrong the entire time and the 3 Why’s exercise helped me see that.
So what did we do? We went back to the drawing board.
Last, but not least, be yourself
You’re weird. You’re unique. You’re different. And that’s awesome. Be the great person you were meant to be.
When I was young, I used to smile during conversations all the time, even when I wasn’t feeling happy. I thought “Gosh, this will make people more comfortable talking to me because I look happy all the time.”
One day, one of my best friends pulled me aside and gave me some sage advice (I’m paraphrasing): “Hey bud, you know, sometimes when I think something isn’t funny, I don’t laugh for the sake of laughing. If I don’t find something interesting or I’m not happy at the moment, I won’t smile either. I want to show people exactly what I feel.“
That was a game changing moment for me. Ever since then, I’ve always tried to do exactly that. I want people’s experiences with me to be 100% genuine and transparent. After all, isn’t that the best way to deeply connect with someone? Be authentic. Be yourself.
Be all the awesomeness you were meant to be.
The bottom line
These are things that we already know, of course. They are not rocket science and shouldn’t be.
This list of little things simply reminds us of what we have forgotten. Then it is up to us to put these lessons (or reminders) into daily use through persistence and practice.
Remember … your experience and learning trumps all!
Need some help in capturing more improvements for your staff’s leadership, teamwork and collaboration? Creative ideas in running or facilitating a team or leadership workshop?
Call today for a FREE consultation or a FREE quote. Learn about some options to scope your job.
Call Mike at 607-725-8240.
All you get is what you bring to the fight. And that fight gets better every day you learn and apply new ideas.
When things are not what you want them to be, what’s most important is your next step. Call today.
Test. Learn. Improve. Repeat.
Are you devoting enough energy continually improving your continuous learning?
Do you have a lesson about making your learning better you can share with this community? Have any questions or comments to add in the section below?
Digital Spark Marketing will stretch your thinking and your ability to adapt to change. We also provide some fun and inspiration along the way. Call us for a free quote today. You will be amazed how reasonable we will be.
More reading on learning from Digital Spark Marketing’s Library:
The Nine Most Valuable Secrets of Writing Effective Copy
How Good Is your Learning from Failure?
10 Extraordinary Ways for Learning to Learn
Continuous Learning Holds the Keys to Your Future Success
Mike Schoultz is a digital marketing and customer service expert. With 48 years of business experience, he consults on and writes about topics to help improve the performance of small business. Find him on G+, Facebook, Twitter, Digital Spark Marketing, and LinkedIn.
